Now would be a great time to take stock in lotion companies. With everyone having to stay in, keep their distance, and apparently stress eating is off the table as well, I think ‘compulsive masturbation’ is about to have a moment, so to speak. 

Just to add some favorites of my own:

Not to mention its just wrong on the facts. Sanders has a well documented history of smaller accomplishments in adding on meaningful amendments to other bills which have made a difference. The fact that he hasn’t single-handily pushed through legislation in his career is not a knock against him. A better question is…

God, Book It. I remember trying so hard for that fucking pizza! Maybe that’s why a lot of our generation got so fat.

Yep. They’re marking up the food before anything additional charges. If anything, you’d think it’d be smart to maybe offer a slight discount if you order take out to goose that side of the business and to offset the delivery costs a little. 

“Authorities have no leads but are suspicious of a recently opened competitor business ‘Crazy Ira’s House of Hummus’”

They need to send him off with a 21 Rocket Pop salute.

“We’ll fresh grind your hamburger in a wood chipper!”

Shut the fuck up, Perry!

I’m down with drive by catapaultings of inexpensive Chinese takeout. Makes it fun. 

I heartily second ditching priceless menus. And can we ditch the ones that technically have prices, but the format of how its displayed is confusing. Learn to use a fucking dollar symbol you pretentious shits!

Yep. Western NC is pretty much dominated by Food Lion, Aldi, Walmart, with some Ingles and other mid size chains thrown in. There may be some Krogers on the eastern part of the state, but besides that the nearest one to me is across state lines. Publix is trying to break into NC but is limited to larger cities right…

Out of curiosity, is gaijin used to refer to anyone non-Japanese? Or just Americans. 

Unless this dude has hermetically sealed his restaurant and is running blood tests for the virus on all customers coming in, this ain’t going to do shit to prevent possible exposure to Coronavirus.

I’m not a fan of clowns in general but oddly enough, Ronald never creeped me out. Maybe it was just residual goodwill from my childhood when going to McDonalds was still something that came across as a once and a while treat to be looked forward to. (I know, I know, but we’re talking late 80's/early 90's when, even as…

I have a similar experience, except with bread. I worked for what is now Bimbo bakeries years ago when I was in college, during summer break (Used to be SunBeam. At the time I worked for them it was Earthgrains, before getting bought out by Sara Lee, which then got gobbled up by Bimbo). Like you, we’d just shut down a…

Yep. Everyone raves about Krogers and I wish i had them in my area. A looooong time ago when I was a kid, there was one near where I lived but it shut down way back in the 90's. 

Honestly, 9 times out of 10, I’m going for the store brand on just about any given item. Most store brands, in my experience, tend to be at least 30% or more cheaper than the name brand, and with a handful of exceptions, there isn’t much of a difference in taste or quality.

I mean, this is a company that came up with the dead-eyed creepy horror of the King, and the dumb-ass promotion of the ‘Upside down Whopper’ for Stranger Things. Advertising prowess has never seemed to been a strong suit of theirs. I think they peaked promotionally with the idea to give out paper crowns. 

I’m not in the add business, but just off the top of my head, I would have gone with a montage of beef being freshly ground and formed into patties. That gets the message across (no preservatives, fresh, etc.) without the gross out factor. Maybe for an encore, they’ll do a timelapse of a person eating a Whopper and…