My advice: got to a Waffle House or whatever the local/regional equivalent is. Its cheap, freshly made and they’re open 24/7. If they stay open during hurricanes, you showing up at 11pm ain’t gonna faze them. If you do happen to go to a restaurant that closes shortly before they do so, I’m going to say you probably…

Your face when you come across a still-open Shoneys. 

They’re a rare breed these days, but occasionally you still see one out in the wild. They’re like the coelacanth of the restaurant industry, rumored to be extinct and then one just pops up out of no where. 

But the trade-off is you have to listen to people talk about the ‘White Claw’ lifestyle with zero-irony, so I’m going to say its a wash...

15 oreos at once is what some call a light snack... Fucking amateurs...

“Popcorn. But I like to wash it down with the existential tears of dread collected from people that watch my films. And some Jujubes.”

Selling weed/meth out the back door is still acceptable though...

I’m a fan of their $5 lunch special. Althought I really shouldn’t be, I need to lose some damn weight and that ain’t helping!

With all the technology we have now, I kind of wonder why we don’t have a way of scanning licenses to verify they’re real. Or at the very least running the license number in a database to verify it. (and to those that are going to go the whole paranoid route about gubmint scanners, its a state-issued ID. They’ve…

I’m curious about the vertical ID thing. I understand that they are typically issued to underaged people but at the same time, a lot of people will still be carrying those cards until they are renewed after they turn 21. Again, this seems like a training issue.

How is term limits unrealistic? I mean, is she commenting on the the political possibility of enacting term limits as unrealistic? If so, then she is maybe a little right. But if she’s talking about what it would do to the court, why is that unrealistic? Give em, oh I dunno, 10 years on the court and then slip them a…

For cheap pizza, Little Caesars is actually pretty good. And its affordable. Pizza Hut, Dominos and Papa John are certainly no better in terms of quality. Plus LC’s has a kinda IDGAF attitude, as evidenced by their cheesy pretzel pizza they roll out every now and then. They are the Chaotic Good of fast food pizza. 

Little Caesars already does this. You place an order online, they put it in their little locker thingy, you punch in the code for your order and you pick it up. 

And that’s not even accounting for places that flat out forbid tipping. I remember once trying to tip a person at one place and being told that I couldn’t.

I was going to say the same thing. Higher end restaurants might try to head hunt executive chefs or up-and-coming sous chefs that have made a name for themselves, but the idea that there is some kind of fierce competition between fast food restaurants stealing each other’s staff away is complete fabricated bullshit.

Silver Lining: This weeks Last Week Tonight is probably going to be bonkers. 

Jesus christ... The nose knows, y’know?

I mean, cold fries are the fucking worst but not ‘open fire on someone’ levels of bad. 

“I don’t think in the United States of America, we should put a ceiling on how far people can go.”

If you want to go that route you could probably say that people shouldn’t be celebrating birthdays at all. They only hold any significance because we assign it to them. In which case, why not get what you want. I mean, what the hell do you think is appropriate for a 25 year old. ‘Here your IRS Form 1040-themed…