Since we’re talking about the overall meal and not just what we’re technically eating, here’s my saddest meal:

Given Trump’s er, unconventional... management style, are we even sure he let her know prior to tweeting? I’d love for her to be in the middle of a press conference, look down at her phone and be like ‘Fuck me...”

I tried my hand at homemade falafel a few weeks back and it turned out pretty good. I’m honestly wondering if they’d hold up to freezing. Like scoop them out into balls, put them on a cookie sheet and freeze, and then bag them. Take out however many you want and fry em up when you want some. 

“Reports that Frito-Lay is working on an intravenous form of Doritos have not been confirmed.” 

In true fast food fashion, they’ll probably flub the order and serve it to you right side up. On the flip side (see what i did there, eh? EH?) it would be funny to have someone come in demanding their order be correct, for a bored teenager to just take the burger from them, turn it over and hand it right back to them. 

If they start to retaliate by neglecting properties, then start by doing aggressive code enforcement and fines and if someone is truly a repeat offender, use imminent domain laws to seize the property and convert it to public housing. 

I mean, its a Thai restaurant. Meaning that these are people that use copious amounts of fish sauce in many of their dishes. And what is fish sauce but fermented rotten fish juice. So, if they’re saying the stuff coming out of the ceiling smelled foul, then you know it had to be bad. 

Look at you with your hoity-toity quarter packs of Kool-Aid! Spare a thought for us poor impoverished people forced to suck down our weak-ass 10 cent a pack Flavor-Aid or god-forbid... Wyler’s *shudders*

‘Bitch’ McConnell has been pretty clear about the fact that he has no principles and that his entire agenda is to do everything to advance conservative legislation and not so much as pretend to compromise on anything that might give Democrats even a slight edge politically.

Man, poor Tracy Morgan seems to have the worst luck with cars and driving, sometimes.

I mean... There are actual people out there that know precisely jack shit about football. All of it. Not a lick. I should know because I’m one of them. If you put a gun to my head and asked me anything beyond maybe the most rudimentary question about football, I’d be a dead man. 

Look at that dudes teeth. Is he going to PFC. Wassalwy Wabbit?

Having people ass-kiss you for a PR stunt for a couple of hours isn’t working a shift. Especially at a fast food place. I’ll maybe say they’ve worked a shift when Buffett goes home with grease burns up and down his arms and Bill Gates suffers a nervous breakdown after getting yelled at by his assistant manager that…

I feel like you do most things on weed:

I mean, correlation is not causation but...

I’m surprised and dismayed that ‘no mayo/light (as in ‘amount of’) mayo’ isn’t in the top 10. If you order any kind of sandwich from fastfood or even more allegedly respectable restaurants and it comes with mayo on it, and you don’t make a point to specify you either don’t want any mayo or you want it used in a…

First thing I thought of:

This sounds suspiciously like someone might have helped themselves to this lady’s wine and then when they were about to be found out concocted this bizarre alternate scenario. I mean, damn, even loan-sharky ‘EZ credit’ auto dealers give you at least a couple of chances to get your account right before they repo your…

The Mantis Shrimp is not impressed. Call Mantis Shrimp when you can make water boil with your fist:

I think the trajectory the world’s taken in the last few years has caused a lot of people to sort of give up on senseless hating on things that are benign. Obviously not everyone, there are still people that hate in the very scary meaning of that word, and there are still people that carry a torch for snarking on…