A girl on one of my college floors one year spent the beginning of the year instigating beeves with just about everyone on the floor, then went away for a weekend with “Daydream Believer” blasting on repeat. She was just unstable enough that the less-cynical people were worried for a while, pounding on her door and…

we said to just pay the tickets, it’ll be fine

It would be better if Pirro appeared under oath before Congress and Representative Omar could interview her about things she is expert on. Like racism, tax fraud and lying in the media.

I tell this story every time a Trump golf story is posted. In 2016, I was playing in a golf outing for work. Our caddy has previously worked at Trump’s club in Westchester County. He told us that if you caddied for Trump, you knew the deal. You kept plenty of extra balls in your pocket. No matter where he  hit it, you…

Also, maybe a fringe opinion, but what sort of a loon would even want to brag about it in the first place? “Nyah nyah nyah nyah, we made up an institution that fails outright in half of all attempts, and traps half of the remainder in a loveless, soul-crushing quagmire they can’t afford to escape.”  Big ups?  

“inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, “We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage””

I can’t decide if ‘bottoming for jesus’ is a great band name or Mike Pence’s future campaign slogan.

Kirk’s bottoming for Jesus

Also, Aaron Rodgers is fucking Kirk Cousins....for some reason?

Actually, you don’t even need it for tuna salad! The Italians make some with oil-packed tuna, lemon juice, capers, salt and pepper, chopped parsley and, optionally, canellini beans and chopped celery. It requires a mental reframing, but it’s really good. Also works well with Trader Joe’s Smoked Trout instead of tuna.

I mean, this means more mayonnaise for me. (And weirdly, as a mayo lover, I feel like the haters yell much louder.) But holy crap, this this this:

Even though I’m a late 40-something who should have memories of the Banana Splits, all I really remember is that the version of the theme that Liz Phair and Material Issue did for “Saturday Morning Cartoons’ Greatest Hits” was really great.

“You know that maladjusted, self-satisfied, absentee parent we hired who hasn’t seen his kids for more than two days a month since he spends every waking hour berating his players for perceived lack of heart and failure to live up to his unreasonable expectations? I bet his kid learned a lot about football from him!”

Referee Tony Weeks picks up a hooker. They’re on their way to the motel when she just can’t stop talking about how awesome her vagina is. They get to the room. She takes off her clothes.

If they are FSU fans that makes me hate them even more 

I’ll always love Tiafoe for “It can’t be that good!!”

“Lumos!”

I’d say congratulations are in order. He finally kept one of his promises! Only took him two years in office but he finally did it!

The swine who trashed that bathroom, like the swine who went into a California park and cut down Joshua trees, are Trump-lovers, doing what Trump-lovers do, ruining their country out of spite.

I know the government shutdown is completely the orange-in-chief’s own creation, and that a lot of the issues with regards to sanitation and upkeep could be mitigated if they’d just closed the places instead of allowing access without maintenance and security oversight, but...

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, how about people…