These are all way better if you read them in a shaky falsetto.

I wouldn’t know where to start, it was my first time attending and it was pretty f’en magical.

I attended last night, and I gotta tell you, Jasmin Savoy Brown came down the elevator into the lobby about an hour before the show, and it was a damn reveal...most of the room just hushed themselves.

01110111 01110100 01100110 00111111 

vintage kacey musgraves takes the cake...

I actually saw them giving away a similar setup on The Price is Right earlier this year:

Oh, I dunno, Shadow Pico sorta goes off.

One my my favorite things about Kylie is that she has sifted through life’s dross, and found only that which matters to her.

It is, but if you have a PS4 and subscribe to PlayStation Plus Extra.

That’s one way to do it, for sure.

I’m a monster, I know.

The average looking ones, however, were allowed to keep their jobs.

Some people might, hot air balloon enthusiasts, for example.

Not all chaps, Tom Cruise, for example is a chap with a hell of an ass:

Legally, you have to salute this if you see it on the road.

There’s a special place in hell for people who mount their tv over their mantel.

omg

In the right light, i.e. none, this could almost pass as human:

Add a little more chlorine to the gene pool, please.

This is very good and you should feel very good for having written it.