have those ellipses checked, friend...i think they have elephantiasis.

you know, katie, tom delonge is an actual goddamn human being, with agency, with thoughts, with dreams and the right be treated as such.

alternate headline:

my favoritest part is that now i can tell its meant to be beyonce.

Cum On, Feel The Noize!

i try to never let a good a good pun go to waste.

eclipse

that reminds me of the time i was feeling homesick for the south, so i went to amazon to order up everything it takes to make my favorite breakfast (no syrup or sugar, thanks) and they sent me some silly western movie.

nobody beats the whiz!

peepeev

For the last time

the fuck does he know? he tried to hide his sexuality with a houseplant.

by a longshot, sorry friend!

oh, that’ll be bidet!

The jokes practically write themselves.

God damnit, I knew I wasn’t here in time to make that joke first

Are you talking about pee tape sports?

“The First Family is very active in water sports.”

lemmy, for starters: