when i was a kid i used to crank my own shaft, but i’m married now.

he just became far less attractive to me, and she, far more.

typically? in cookie jars both figurative and literal.

well, as they say, if it walks like a petulant child and sits like a petulant child, it’s probably the president of the united states.

“Melaniaaaa, can we go to McDonald’s now? I’m boooooored!”.

or, as sean spicer will report it, the single largest funeral attendance in us history.

Ladies and the gentlemen, the Pettysdent of the United States.

ouch, helen...that really stung.

reincarnation is such a buzz word these days.

something about this joan collins story bugs me.

I KINDA wish

confused as to which way it’s going.

hummuna x 2

yep...get ready for #2.

that artist’s rendering of michael buble isn’t particularly accurate.

i think this cotd stinks.

john cena will sell you his for 20, K.

maybe somebody shouldn’t have spent all their money on fine shampanyay.

the longest journey sharts with a single step my friend.