I’d just like to take this opportunity to pour one out for Splinter. Like the rat, you were radical.

@FoxNews doesn’t deliver for US anymore. It is so different than it used to be. Oh well, I’m President!

I definitely read that as “faux Becky” at first.

Haha sorry, couldn’t resist.*

Theres a rumor it's a $60,000 custom weave. 

I dont think that was a hair salon.

This isn’t milking it, this is Journalism, I personally can’t wait for the shit show at Blizzcon and I hope Kotaku reports on it.

She probably uses that fancy stuff that those cartoon bears on the commercials talk about, like she’s the Sultan of Goddamn Brunei. You know, the bears that talk WAY more about their shit than normal, red blooded Americans do. She should be using leftover napkins that she stole from Wendy’s like the rest of us.

Waaaaaait waitwaitwaitwait. Wait. Wwwwwait. Are you telling me that women are regularly spending $200-300 to just get their hair cut and dyed?? Normally? That $100 is an extreme bargain? And that men still pay $25? Now THAT is the story I am wondering WTF about. Buried the lede. 

You know what, ghouls at the Washington Times (owned by the Moonies the last time I checked)? I have a girlfriend who is in the fifth out of seven years of discharging personal bankruptcy (unpaid medical bills from before she was full-time, of course.) Do you know what is included in her fixed expenses budget every…

My point being (as I am obviously drunker now), is that trust me, I already lnow that I am stupid, but dislike arguing with people that I would agree with while sober (it’s almost like I should stop binge drinking or some shit).

You’re fine. A lot of your e’s are w’s and you typed, “to” instead of *too.

To be fair on the Weapons of Mass destruction and Iraq and the intel isn’t really as open and shut as most people generally make it out to be. What the CIA report said and our investigations during and aftwr the invasion would seem to confirm is that Iraq had no Nukes and wasn’t making any real attempt to have them.…

Great shade she threw at Jay-Z...

That didn’t take long…

Guys, I finally got ahead of the President’s schedule enough to start the process of hiring somebody to photograph/video the back and sides of tRump’s latest Nuremberg Rally in Minneapolis. Currently, he’s trying to stick the city with over $500,000 in security and traffic expenses, which is not going over well in…

Cherry became synonymous with “red”. Artificial Red is its own distinct flavor. Same as Purple (grape) and Blue (raspberry???) .

I know it’s not what I was supposed to get from your post but I like the way your dad thinks.