“The NRA Vice-President is Scared of Socialists”. GOOD.

My god, stepping out of the theater I accidentally stepped in front of a family taking photos in front of the cardboard promo. I was so embarrassed. They should’ve barked me out of existence. I deserved it.

Yeah, I think that guy’s cool as hell.

I’ll pre-order tickets to those next six/twelve/twenty movies.

Why is any of this happening on Twitter? Do I need to be on Snapchat to be a real American? Am I old now?

Please, show a little respect. It’s “Mittens”.

“Must they run their mouth’s like that?” —- Yikes.

So can I order Jimmies on my ice cream, or not?

Rebekah Mercer was on a episode of Xena entitled “Hooves and Harlots”.

Help me! I know my swords are tacky. That’s why they’ve been in a storage since I was seventeen (like fifteen years ago)! But what do I do with them? I paid an embarrassing amount of money for them! What am I supposed to do, put them in a garbage bag and hope nobody notices the clank when I throw them in the compactor…

I think this is my year....

Man, I love knives! A nice full-tang, high carbon steel... mmmph! Cooking or camping, I can’t wait to get the knives out!

Lobster meat is the most boring meat. Blander than chicken breast. Shells make a good stock though.

Jesus was still Asian, right?

To appease the Jeep Gods, you must now sacrifice one of your children.

Oop. Cool. Felt like that was a mini-attack. But I’ll take a look behind the curtain. Huh.

Heck... I wear the worst, comfy, ugly clothing 9 days outta ten. I go on a date, it’s absolutely for her that I dress up. I kinda thought it was the same. And I’m kinda getting some heat for this? I feel like I didn’t differentiate between what I see a lady a Dunkin’ Donuts, which is absolutely not about me, and what…

Sorry, didn’t mean to be a dick, just thought they were a nice middle ground.

So, guy — and short. I’m a fan of the kitten heel. Is there a more acceptable shoe that says “I’m dressing up, but I’m cool with not coming up two inches taller than you?” That’s what I assume these are for.

Wait, I thought the point was not necessarily to treat any one individuals testimony as gospel, but to have a broader understanding of a wide-spread societal evil that for too long has been normalized. Am I doing this wrong?