For the life of me, I can't figure out which is supposed to be exempt. I, uh... I've worked with doctors.

UGH. I *hate* it when scene-makers try to look at and talk to the people around them like "we're all in this together, amirite?!" No, no we are not. I'm a customer, you are a walking hemorrhoid. Leave me out of your shenanigans!

No. 1) Defenses of idiot customers are not obligatory, and 2) Irish Coffees have alcohol. An Irish coffee is coffee with whiskey. That's the only fucking definition. They are quite popular. You are wrong.

HOW DOES EAT FOOD?

If it was me and my friends at a friendsgiving, we all would have given her date shit for this crap. This is the number one thing we don't tolerate when it comes to food, mostly if you're a grown ass man. Don't make people work hard to do something nice while doing something where you're just picky. Fuck you, you're…

I know a few people (all men) that refuse to eat meat off the bone.

This was painful to read.

Starbucks, middle of the afternoon. Exam week. Everyone is tired, but there is a lull in the action for once.

My neighbor doesn't eat things with bones because they're yucky. Hot dogs and chicken nuggets for that grown ass man.

And your story is why I lasted two and a half weeks as a waiter in an expensive restaurant.

I could control the mouth, no problem. But once the customer crosses the event horizon, no force on Earth could control my facial expression.

Worked my latter college years at Red Lobster, home of the coronary catastrophes known as the cheddar bay biscuits. For the uninitiated, these are biscuits filled with cheddar cheese and coated with five applications of a garlic flavored buttery sauce. They are equally deadly and delicious, if you are into that sort…

Ok.. so.. one of my dumbest customers was this lady who came through the wendy's drive thru in her minivan to get what i assume was lunch for her entire office. she orders over $40 worth of dollar menu items, which completely defeats the purpose of a drive thru window. so there are cars lined up behind her…

We were planning a Friendsgiving and our friend told us that her date "doesn't eat meat" so we made sure to include a vegan protein dish. It turned out he meant that he doesn't eat meat as in steaks, whole chicken/turkey, etc. You know meat that started as raw when you bought it. He was very happy with the hotpockets…

I am STILL responding to someone from the last thread who is determined to explain why someone might, due to cultural difference, make a mistake like assuming an appetizer menu item called "bacon-wrapped scallops" was a sort of scalloped potato recipe.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN A BOWL WITHOUT SOUP IN IT. If you don't understand this, you are a heartless elitist.

How hard is it to put something in your fucking mouth and taste it for yourself? It's like people are worse than fucking 5 year olds.

i am so obsessed w pinkham's law it's not even funny

Brace yourselves, everyone.

Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, the BIZARRO EDITION: