CFE is the only electrical company in Mexico, and everyone fears the day this bill arrives... so nothing scarier than the CFE bill!

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to some Halloween party with a girl from our dorm. The next morning, she comes walking up to the common area still in her eighties-prom outfit. We asked her where she ended up staying the night...she lifts up her dress to reveal her yellow thighs and says "Bart Simpson…

Thanks (not sarcastic). That's what I needed to hear.

This one time I was a grown ass man and I wore a Halloween costume for something other than the amusement of children.

a) In the zombie apocalypse, people probably don't check to see if your nursing certifications are up to date.

The second half of last season took place over about two weeks, not several months. Also, these guys ARE Beth's kidnappers. They showed the cars with cross on the back while Noah and Beth made their attempt out of the hospital lot.

Yes he is. He even claims to be a feminist!

I thought killing Lori was a huge improvement to the show.

Seasons 2 and 3 are pretty terrible, but 4 and what we have of 5 so far have been great. If you can slog through the bad middle part, you get to the good stuff later.

I actually really like Beth. She's no Rambo (like Carol) but she's fighting like hell to make it. She's come a LONG way from her suicide attempt, which I think is the point. She has to actively work really hard to overcome her deer-in-the-headlights instincts, and she does it.

So, I had posted recently a few times about how I was seeing a guy I wasn't sure if I had chemistry with, then after finally getting somewhat physical I determined that there is chemistry (holy hell, is there ever chemistry) and I shared that and now... I have a boyfriend. I am someone's girlfriend. I haven't been…

*angrily throws away $10,000 worth of bad clothes*

Sure, as long as you pay all my medical expenses. Sadly, being born without a gag reflex has left me prone to all kinds of super legit and costly diseases.

"Thanks for the ride, Muhammed."

None of what Virgin is doing is in pursuit of real scientific advancement or exploration.

I feel your pain and struggle! I wonder how you have the energy to keep going. 'Americans' forcing your country to want to import Friends and Seinfeld re-runs. Hang in there!

"Cultural imperialism"

It's funny because when we were younger I was this quiet, agreeable child that just kind of wanted to read and do my own thing. My brother use to throw massive temper tantrums and everyone thought he was adorable. I told my mom if they kept coddling him he'd grow up to be a brat. Now look! I want to be adorable…

I put in my application for the greencard lottery this week. Cross your fingers for me!

You guys I'm super frustrated with my mother tonight and I don't even know how to handle. I love her to death, she's probably my best friend most of the time and one of the smartest women I know but she has such a large blind spot for my little brother it's ridiculous.