I just read it that way and dying now

Getting punched in the face is awful! It doesn’t feel that bad while it’s happening, but when the adrenaline wears off it feels like hot, pounding, achy swelling. You can get the same effect from slamming you face on a table or something, but that could never duplicate the distressing and traumatic feeling that comes…

But in THAT situation, the soldier would have gone crazy when the hospital staff tried to get back up the steps and the horse would have to shoot him

Where are they deriving the nicotine from if not tobacco?

I fear if he dies in office, even if it’s our natural causes, the conspiracy theory mill will convince trumpers that the deep state killed him and spur his asshole supporters to commit acts of violence en masse. Combined with the fact that enough centrist democrats will offer mealy-mouthed sympathies in the name of…

Wait...hasn’t EVERY Dalai Lama been hot?!?

Like, I’m white, but I’m NEVER gonna be poet laureate...I’m just about as likely to be killed by a cop.

Seriously, why isn’t “thats somebody’s best friend” “thats someone’s (insert relative)“ “that’s a human being” not enough?

ohhhh I thought she said “you are so ON” instead of “you are so wrong” in the hypothetical call to New Zealand.  I was super drowsy while watching and got completely thrown by the bizarre accent she was using. I thought she was like "RIGHT ON, GURL FREN!" 

I cringed at the blaccented “girlfriend” she used in her hypothetical phone call with the prime minister of New Zealand.

She’s saving the name “kimchi” for the line of hotdogs she’s planning on coming out with.

Oh my God that pandering statement. She named it "kimono" because the first syllable is "Kim". I'm positive that's the one and only reason.

Not cat-related, but washing machine related:

Not a fan

• The republicans didn’t give a shit about Monica Lewinsky. They didn’t impeach Clinton to get justice for her, they did it to serve their own political ends. That’s why I think it’s weird to be saying “IMPEACH!” when the accusation is a violent crime like rape. That’s like hearing someone murdered someone else and…

Even without an impeachment inquiry, Nancy will make sure trump serves time in 2020... Yep, a nice long four year sentence in the White House

Now there’s the vacant-eyed state of a man who knows where he is and how he got there!

I liked the part before the third knock down where he got him with the left hook, then paused for a beat like he was a bit surprised it connected then was like “oh shit here’s my chance” and just started wailing on him.

You really have to question his level of commitment to his own cause where he can’t host his own meeting where he’s the one holding the mic talking to people who want to hear him speak. If anything his bullshit antics will drive anyone away who may,on some level, agree with his cause. Nobody is thinking to themselves…

I know this is anecdotal, but my best friend growing up served in Iraq and now dude is a crazy gun nut who has way more guns than he needs, open carries while doing literally everything, won’t get on planes because he can’t bring his gun, etc. I stopped talking to him after we got in a huge fight because he called my…