You missed one:

Four.

Well, fuck

"This man was arrested for being black at a country music concert."

"You are probably not going to see anyone as drunk as the guy featured in this report"

That is the cleanest I've ever seen Pittsburgh.

David Ortiz would have been yelling at the official scorer for not giving him three RBI.

"But you really shouldn't. Also, you have legs you could use you know."

But there are plenty of people who need wheelchairs to attend games who might have gotten fucked out of a ticket because some fraud was there instead. It's worth exploring.

Just because someone is in a wheel chair does not mean that they cannot walk or stand. (See any obese person on a hover round)

Seeing this makes me sad for the current state of the NBA. Maybe it's just me, but I really think it cheapens your claim as the greatest basketball league in the world when you have a jersey with Gerald Henderson's name on the back.

In Tampa? I dunno, bath salts?

So for the past 60 years, have you been assuming that every SI cover has been an image leading to a made shot, a base hit, a completed pass, a goal, etc?

There's a slight problem with this image, though.

yep, goal of the tournament is a completely objective designation. no room for argument.

Instead of getting rid of it, why don't we find it a new home?

Well, this just made some legless African's day.

OH.... I thought we were referencing his well-known generosity and community service, and that picking up a $64,000 tab for his players sounds like the sort of kind-hearted act that Coach Reid could believably do. Thank goodness you were here to show me that there was a joke in that comment, along with an unspoken…

I was there. After lying there for about thirty minutes he vomit-defecated himself, then got trampled by 43 other passengers, which shattered four ribs, then, and this is crazy, he got back up and finished his fucking shift.

How many countries are there in this country? Goddamn it...