Yeah, it was probably this guy.

It depresses me that so many people—including a fair chunk of the commenters here—are so happy to jump into this conspiracy theory rabbit-hole and discard Occam’s razor & their own critical thinking skills (if they have any), just because being down that rabbit-hole feels so good.

“I mean, gosh, what could that guy beat me at, being a slob? He’s an embarrassment.”

I’m thinking Debbie Gibson.

“Every man is Enemy to every man; and the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.”

According to some traditions, Cain slew Abel with the jawbone of an ass. Dan Forest forms words by flapping the jawbone of an ass. QED?

As Jon Stewart said of Kim Davis (remember her?): “This is what happens when you refuse to let gay people touch your hair.”

“I’m not no queer.”

I feel conflicted about Apes & also about Heston’s cameo in Tim Burton’s mixed-bag Apes remake—because it is Heston after all, but it’s such a stroke-of-brilliance cameo that it (along with Paul Giamatti’s orangutan) damn near redeems that movie.

I wonder, what actor could play Trump? Not a parody like Alec Baldwin—I mean to play Trump convincingly and really inhabit the role. I can’t think of anyone—but then, I never would’ve imagined Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin, and she was great.

She’s my sister and my daughter.

Some will be skeptical about this, but I defy them to prove that it isn’t true. To quote Incident at Loch Ness: “They’re saying show us the evidence. I’m saying show us the non-evidence.”

Good news for Tucker—Fox just scored a big ad buy from one of the top makers of camo-print dog diapers.

I enjoyed that. Happy week y’all.

“You can’t burn cow farts.”

“He’s a clinically batshit oppressive despot ... and is generally a power-mad insecure clown.”

[update—the link works now]

PS You have so much cum on your face.