Hey, that’s where I got my Master’s of Disasters!

Family traditions are important. 

If I want to show my penis to random people I'll hang out in the park, like my father, and his father before him

More like gastroenterology!

That explains those Uggs.

Not sure if you’ve met folks who live in Park Slope, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did think that.

Come on dude, stop begging for it

>implicitly asks a lot of questions about how the personal details we post online can be repurposed by any kind of stranger

I would be a sarcastic dick about this, but I regularly think about this shitty freemium game:

I’d happily watch footage of him walking into a street sign played in a loop.

Actually, one thing I admire about will.I.am is that after all this time he still seems to be trying too hard with everything. Dude is worth $70m+, he can afford to phone it in once in a while. But noooo, he’s always got to be so full of energy with his latest project.

Black people doing weird, awesome, heroic, and magical shit, without needing to deal with the baggage of racism.

He’ll rig up some new contracts out of sugar packets and coffee filters.

HEY NOW!

How is MacGuyver going to get out of this one?

Cool story bro.

Jamie Kennedy is kind of a dipshit? No way!

You mean the version I watched wasn't 20 hours long?

I might have picked Starla but Martian Law beat me to it, so I’ll pick something else from the B-sides collection Pisces Iscariot: