“Miss Piggy was soooo angry at Kermit (“how angry was she?!”), she threatened to Waka Waka his <blank>“

Or his daddy

Sigh, Sharkski was just sitting right there for you to take.

A frog inside a snail? What is this, a French cooking show?

“Talkin bout trucks and beers
and those jeans so tight
Talkin bout how we should ban the vote
from anyone who ain’t white”
Hey!” (2 minutes of banjo noodling)

Mumford & Sons’ banjoist Winston Marshall

Damn, we just got him off the Stimutax, now he’s into coke!

Phantom Tollbooth inspired our son’s name, so a friend custom etched these for us in honor of his birth.

Anyone else always think the dot was a hussy who wasn’t worth it, even as a kid?

I didn't know he was 4'9", explains a lot.

Whatever you want them to mean!

“What do you get when you cross Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip? Killed in a tunnel.” - Eddie Izzard

I love the idea that people shed their outer layers and become totally different people every 10 years or so. 

It’s an underappreciated fact that Zagnut is more nutrageous than NutRageous.

From now on, we’ll only take bribes using Harriet Tubman $20 bills.

“At least, we will until you stupid people move on to the next controversy, and forget about us and resume watching the sausage our awards were created to promote.”
“Sir, the mic’s on.”
“I KNOW it’s on!”

So a first gen immigrant, trying to learn english, trying to support his family, gets rejected, and you just shit on his attempt? Really classy Jezebel. There's plenty to loath about the guy, but your aim is off on this one. 

yes!

Well, there goes my career as a Chinese movie star.