I know exactly how you can avoid this sort of crazy. Don’t send your kids to a preschool that costs more than the average salary in the United States. Just a thought.

I’d sue them based on all those fucking acronyms. Holy fuck.

The big question = litterbox:
Yay or Nay?

Madeleine, if you start researching into the world of otherkin you will find things you will never be able to unsee

Oh my god, the rest of the world has discovered otherkin.

A married couple I know have a joint Facebook account and no individual accounts. It’s exceedingly obnoxious and incredibly inconvenient.

It’s weird that all of these worship leaders keep auditioning, often with wife in tow and giving off a slight closeted vibe.

They each have a personal twitter account as well as an official joint account? The thirst is real. I have decided I hate them and I will not be swayed.

This morning I woke up and under my pillow was my cat! I can’t tell if he likes the pressure of my head pushing a pillow into his body while he sleeping or if he’s trying to get me to unknowingly suffocate him while I sleep so that he can frame me for his murder Gone Girl style to teach me a lesson. Really hard to…

“I’m such a quirky, cool, and unique individual that I need a quirky, cool, and unique pet. Otherwise, how will anyone know how quirky, cool, and unique I am? You think I’m gonna buy a dog, like some schmoe? As if.”

This is where Donald Trump came from.

a wild creature like this one could easily cause someone to lose a limb.

Kinkajous are very, very cute:

South Florida has all kinds of weird shit running around because people buy exotic pets and when they find out they are a bitch/expensive to take care of they just turn them loose on a golf course.

Babytheft (and pretty much all of her peers) was required to come back to the hospital for a check-up when she was 4 or 5 days old (funny how time melds together in those early days) and once we were there I realized it was as much a check-up of the mom as it was the baby. Sure, they gave her a good going-over, but…

There are reproductive psychiatrists that specialize in this issue that could walk you through your options, should you decide you wanted children.

I’m stressed, but I’m not THAT stressed. Yet.

Putting “another hot sauce” in quotes like that makes it ever so much dirtier

I’ve been a little stressed out about money lately; clearly what I need to do is get knocked up by a One Directioner so I can get that $$$. I could make $14,000 a month go a loooooooong way.

They fly in separate travel crates because that’s what the airlines require.