Wait a minute...did you shade Reagan by giving him a recycled Shade Court Docket # (2014JZ000009), same as the Michael Jordan/ Obama case, instead of his own? Is the shadiest of shades a breezy copy/ paste error? "I don't have time to give Regan his own number." I love it.

Right. While it may be true something awful happened to him as a child, if we are to feel compelled to show him compassion for that, we need to do the work in chronological order. We will get to what may have happened to him 30+ years ago, but let's not skip over the harm he caused 10 years, or 10 minutes, ago.

What a mean, unnecessary joke to make.

Well she's writing a SCAR-EEEN PLAAAAY (in Oprah's voice) didn't you hear? I imagine she got away with the rape joke because people think she's like a really cool, legit writer. Man I hope not. That's so bleak.

I liked this one better than the last one, I'll give Nell that. Mostly because she didn't reference Bristol's possible rape, though.

Alright! No references to possible rape/ sexual assault/ however you want to caveat it this time!

As of now, it says "Women's Plus Size Halloween Costumes" which I am not sure is much better, in that this is a distinct category from the rest of the Adult costumes. I get that often adult clothes come in "standard" sizes in a shitty, narrow range. But there are men's plus size clothing and stores, too. Where is…

It is indeed terrible that this also happens to men, we are agreed on that. So, taking the thought to it's next logical step, it is even more terrible that this happens to women on a much more frequent basis.

I'm surprised Madge hangs an over-the-closet shoe holder over her bathroom window. Would've thought she had more than enough closet space.

I pinged from Avi (would fuck), to Mario (would fuck), to Noami (would fuck?). I'm straight and want them all in my bedroom, all night. And then we would breakfast on burgers and fries...

Oooh Mark could you please wave your magic wand at me, too? I spent an embarrassingly long time this morning figuring out how to post a (probably outdated - but I love it!) gif of Lucille Bluth and the $10 banana on this article, and it would make my day to get outta the grays!

Now see I thought the one coming down from the left was called accent "grave."

Phew. For some reason I would do well to explore with my therapist, your explanation snips the messy, dangling thread for me nicely. Much appreciated.

Oh goodness, because I am a stickler and cannot let things go...it's not spelled with an accent, but if it were (é), I learned that the name for such an accent is an accent aigu. Can someone please clarify this for me? I spend too much time thinking about it...

Aww...Goop looks so happy! That ponytail is adorable.

As long as you didn't get anyone's fluids in you, you are just fine. This would freak me out, too. I offer you a hug!

I regret to inform you that your application for an opinion has been denied. We encourage you to apply again in the Spring, when you are less hysterical.

Not in the least!

So obviously the vagina is a strike against you. How angry would you say you feel right now?