Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

When I go to games and sit behind the nets, the one thing I don’t hear people say is “If only this net wasn’t here, I’d have a much better view of the game”.

Look, there’s only like four of us White Sox fans that hang out around here.  So could you please stop stealing my jokes before I think them up?

So all this time my wife has been trying to pass a drug test?

Damn, Albies’s contract is for over five thousand years?

Giants gonna Giant. seriously, pick the 5th or 6th best QB in a weak QB class with the 6th pick in the draft because his college coach was Eli’s college OC? should have traded a second round pick for Rosen and taken someone with actual talent at #6...

In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

Why are you such A negative person?  You should B positive instead.

But can Jacksonville keep him up for 60 minutes?

Fucking great. This will legitimize the MAGA lies that Chicago is full of black men who can’t stop shooting.

I wish I had 20 burner accounts to star this comment.

New England should have seen it coming when Derek Anderson called out “Readyyyy.... down.... HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT”

Childhood? Shit, I have that game bookmarked now.

Witlessness is being unable to write. Inanity is using ridiculous parallel structures that obfuscate, rather than elucidate, your point. Corpidulousness is a word I just made up to pad the length of this comment with a run-on sentence that makes this whole thing look like it has some semblance of weight when in…

Don’t worry kids. It’s not like some massive foreign company is sinking its hooks into our resources and economy, while getting a tax break, while siphoning not just water, but profits, back to their mothership. And if they do anything to hurt the environment, the EPA will go after them! Relax!

The reason we are in the mess we are in today is thinking that our resources are endless and letting corporations steal them. Don’t be a sucker. Don’t sell yourself out like that.

I find it ironic that the public is freaking out about Facebook’s data compromise to Cambridge Analytica and yet we have no issues handing over our user and geo data to MoviePass. They made it clear they will sell user data to 3rd parties.

“No collusion!” - Bill Self, after the game

Hopefully when he’s ready to retire at 50 we can get him over to MLS