True. Chipotle definitely poops in their food to appeal to the coveted anti-vaccine demographic.

Can confirm. The crack is in the cilantro lime rice (not sure where the E. coli is though).

Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and Rashaan Salaam (yes, I grew up in Colorado in the 1990’s)

http://www.deadspin.com

“Be married already when you move to a smaller town.” Best advice in the entire column. At 29 years old, I moved from Southern California to Wisconsin, and I immediately transformed from “average age” guy at the bar to “creepy old guy” at the bar. If you’re single and in the upper half of your 20s or older in a small…

Question for the many, many lawyers of Deadspin: If choked fan were to, say, stab security guard in the eye with his keys during this kerfuffle, would he be held responsible for the injuries? Because this looks like straight up assault, so shouldn’t homeboy be able to defend himself?

You and me both, Rod.

I mean, it’s not like they’re named the Fivers.

Cris Carter needs a fall guy.

It’s worth considering that, with Branden Weeden and Matt freakin’ Cassel as their QBs, the Cowboys lost games by 11, 6, a whole shitload (the New England Patriots), 7, 1, 6, and 4. Plus, the NFC East is the hottest of garbage.

Judging by her outrage over a man joyfully celebrating success, I must have missed the news that Greg Hardy got kicked out of the league

The Knickname

Judging by his rapping, I’m going with The Square.

This video was even better than advertised. Godspeed, Otto.

The Madison, WI bus system.

The only thing missing from this whole “police officers, PLEASE stop murdering innocent people” was a really shitty theme song that blames the culture of the innocent people for their death. Kudos, Spike!

After watching that video, I want to go on strike until that man loses his job. And I’m a white guy. In Wisconsin.

Fat Phil Kessel approves

I’m going to respectfully disagree, and submit the hypothesis that, by reducing the amount of collisions and physical contact, you actually reduce the number of injuries.

I coached football in Europe for a few years, and there’s definitely a market, albeit a pretty small one. My team was mostly made up of blue collar guys who wanted to do something physical after work, but were too aggressive to play soccer. Everyone on the team loved the game, but they usually aren’t exposed to it…