Gronk: the kind of guy you can bring home for your sister’s 16th birthday.

If you are really, really good at your job, you can!

Ouch, right in the golden plates!

...but which emoji was snapped?!?!

Even Kim Davis would sign off on that marriage.

Apparently Tom Brady isn’t the only one who can let some serious air out.

1. I’m in science, and Switzerland has a fairly robust science/research industry, so the stars more or less aligned for me. 2). It was pretty great! The cost of living is unreal, but so are the salaries, so you are almost guaranteed to come out ahead in Switzerland (unless you want to eat out every night). People are…

I worked in Switzerland for 4 years. Where’s my family’s halftime show?

It’s interesting to see the trolls get upset at this article, rather than millionaires with private jets who took away a once in a lifetime opportunity from my Army Ranger buddies stationed in Afghanistan.

Around 6 months ago, my Prime’s “2 day shipping guarantee” has turned into “sometimes 2 days, but sometimes one week, probably.”

The shooter

I think we should probably extrapolate the trend in the data and conclude that the future should be #1.

Just putting it out there—this video is AMAZING when you’re high.

To be fair, I’m not sure I could tell the difference between an injured Illinois football player and a healthy Illinois football player.

By far the strongest line in Washington.

Filed to: Stories of Horrible Restaurant Customers

What an A.S.S.

Clearly this guy does not value his time. It’s a shame, because he seems like a pretty clever guy. If he had used his time tutoring math instead of gaming the system, he probably wouldn’t need that extra $3/day (added bonus: smarter children, happier service industry workers).

“Why would you want to sign him? If he yelled his name out during sex, he’d sound like such a tool” -Jeetz.

Looks like he found Tom Cable’s old playbook lying around in the office somewhere