My cats also spend 60% of every day in Executive Time: sleeping, pooping, or harassing someone with a can opener for meat.

Feels more like a ruse to get old people like me to understand who 21 Savage is.

“The results speak for themselves” Sarah is right but not for the reasons she thinks 

Well, I really don’t want to start off the day with a tri-state low-blood-sugar-induced murder spree, so breakfast it is.

I am a french toast connoisseur and this article is made up of LIES.

Seriously. It may or may not be the most important but there is no question that it is the BEST meal. 

Breakfast is the best food on the planet, whether you eat it at 8 am or 2pm, or 11pm. Its the best food ever created.

I work for company A, which does phone support for several companies. I’m contracted out to company B for deskside support. I work in an office, and I know the politics of this office pretty well. But I found it hard to keep up with what the office at company A was doing.

I know you are being tongue-in-cheek about this but it sure seems like some folks in the comments section believe you.

The kid’s favorite cartoon was Masha and the Bear, per the original story. Where a bear hangs out with a toddler.

This was in my hometown and yeah everyone there believes Jesus sent the bear or even was the bear... Holy shit I’m glad to be out of there.

Hathaway wrote in a Facebook post. “God sent him a friend to keep him safe. God is a good God. Miracles do happen.”

Then there was Harambe

The headline in CNN was the most wonderful thing ever about this: “A boy who was lost in the woods says a bear kept him company. No one can prove it didn’t happen.”

“No one can prove it didn’t happen” is going to be in a lot more things I say and write from now on, where appropriate.

Reminds of when people say “Thank Jesus” after surgery saves their lives.

“God is a good God. Miracles do happen.”

I'm with the kid, I want to believe such magical bear exists.

Security camera footage...

Here’s why I think the kid’s story is at least, possible: I’m pretty sure I heard or read somewhere (so obviously, this is reliable info) that the best defense to a bear attack is to shit yourself...which seems convenient because I would have done that without the advice. Anyway, a three-year old on his own for a…

“God sent him a friend to keep him safe. God is a good God. Miracles do happen.”