1. You still read his tweets? I thought we all agreed to skim past them?

I think it would be hilarious if the President of Mexico flew to Washington with one of those huge novelty cheques made out for 10 pesos and tried to present it to Trump. Just to add some levity to this gong show.

ok um

So wait... Are the allegedly dirty, or allegedly from Jeff Bezos?

Khloé “Apostrophe Over the E”

Whenever this topic comes up I am compelled to mention that noted drunk & grump, 77 year old Nick Nolte has a 12 year old daughter.

OK, thank you, I thought I was having a stroke. Still unclear where they were going with those 2 unrelated bullet points.

I wish you could have included Trump’s original tweet about the fires, instead of the update. Describing an area of trees as a “Forrest” twice (and capitalizing it both times) really makes clear the level of stable genius we’re dealing with here.

People mostly think we get around in pouches of animals that begin with K. Common misconception!

My nephew goes to school in a solidly-Trump school district and I worry about him so much. His mother is Asian and doesn’t speak great English. He doesn’t look Asian, but he also definitely doesn’t look white. Most people would probably think he was Hispanic. Have I mentioned how much I worry about him? His school is…

Uh, Prachi? How was this sentence supposed to end? It had such a compelling beginning that I’m curious.

“I thought he was going to do good things. He’s not hurting the people he needs to be hurting.”

Story of a nation on a car bumper...

I click on things like this hoping for more insightful content then just “this is terrible and we should stop looking at it” and I don’t know why I haven’t learned my lesson yet...

RIP Roger <3

Look, the world is a dark place right now. People be gettin it where they can, ok?!

Not to be a pedant to your pedantry, but “$1.4 billion dollars” is redundant.

the untasted cheese surplus has climbed to $1.4 billion pounds.

Three hours and nobody came?