Trump called for “stiffened” death penalty laws.

This is why I hate the press...

Even then, it’s doubtful that’s his writing. Not a single misspelling and using words coherently? Whenever can he do that? 

Pretty sure it became “far more devastating than originally thought” when he found out some of the victims were cops, instead of, you know, just a bunch of Jews.  

Fuck I'd rather hit up the Smithsonian than the WH no matter who was President. Shaking hands with Obama would be cool, but I'd still rather go to an internationally renowned museum.

I started getting really angry that he got out of jail time, but then I realized there is literally no way that he will stay out of trouble for four years. I really hope the next judge sees things differently and throws him in prison for a minute. 

“Jeffrey Dahlmer would have preferred to have eaten me. Everyone is saying it- I would the number one choice for cannibals. Only the best cannibals can buy the taste to appreciate me! There are wonderful people on both sides-BOTH SIDES- of the cannibal issue. Terrific people who are cannibals, and great people eaten…

No Poles or Jews, and a harrrrrd squint at the Irish white.

Thank you. Since there is large contingent of trump supporters - including trump himself - who will soon be spouting such nonsense, I thought it was a good way to indicate I was being sarcastic. Plus, there was that flashback episode where he and Ted Cruz’s father killed Kennedy so it really fit. 

“That doesn’t count because someone on the left — or at least someone to the left of bat shit crazy — said or did something similar” — Every Trump apologist.

a tiny hand slap fight? 

Spiders aren’t insects.

Also, that’s how you get Australia. 

Man, fuck that noise. A couple of years ago I lived in a basement apparent. Those fucking spiders got me while I slept. Fang marks, swelling, burning & itching. I got scars man. Scars...

A couple of weeks ago I called my husband while I was at work because I found a giant wolf spider in my kids toy bin that had been stalking me for days, but always eluded capture.

He or she is running on a naps platform.

Oh sorta like Carol-Anne!

The finger pricking doesn’t bother me. Just syringes/needles.