Mayo being the Devils jizz does make sense though. The devil is always trying to tempt people to be under his control by corrupting with things that feel so good they can’t quit. I’d say a blt made with toasted bread, a fresh from the garden tomato, bacon, and a healthy slather of mayo on there is something that could…

Did the 70’s have a real bad lice problem?

You gotta give it to them. They figured out how to make eggless mayo marketable to non vegans and vegans

Hey. All the space went to making sure they had two breakfast nooks. Cmon. Priorities.

Why do they have two tables? Are they so rich now that they have to flaunt it by having two breakfast nooks?

I wonder if the Donald knows that if you employ them the statement doesn’t count. I can see him talking to a bellhop at one of his hotels and asking him if he’s Muslim and the bellhop has the sophie’s choice of being able to afford rent or tell the Donald he's wrong

Yeah. If you can't google your doctors name and get the office number, you're probably going to the best fix a flat butt injectables garage in Pensacola

My derm is amazing and the number for the practice is widely available. You can wait 6 to 10 months for a spot with the new derm. To get my guy it's like going to a rave. You have to get a recommendation from a current patient. It's crazy but home boy can spot a cancerous mole from a mile away

I just want Khloe to cut the shit already and appear on Celebrity Rehab

The wax was aged in a whiskey barrel a titanic survivor used to stay afloat

I feel like for $65 I shouldn't have to make a candle smoke house so it burns correctly. Like if a Walmart candle did that? So what? It's Walmart.

Haha I literally thought “not even for $14 at tj maxx. If it’s like $8 I will waver and buy it and the. I’ll feel guilty burning it.”

If Benson and Stabler had been on the case they would have caught this guy ages ago. Oh, you want to photograph this teen’s downtown strip? Cuff ‘em boys. This guy is a kiddie diddler! And Ice T would have been off to the side confused after 20 years on the svu squad “so let me get this right, this police man who…

I looked up what his parents do. His dad own a sheet metal factory and the numbers given sound like how a defense attorney would frame someone being hella rich “the factory clears $15 million a year.” So i’d assume they clear two or three milly at most a year. Between his parents and him they have over 20 arrests…

Or else what? She's gonna sue? It's a miracle she had enough data left on her boost mobile to send out a tweet

Hey. She was so exhausted that she didn’t even realize she was putting on someone elses’s pants with Coke in the pocket

The first thing that comes to mind for you is her coked out of her mind and making out with her mom? Weird but valid

I can see it in the healthy way. Like my boyfriend doesn’t “let” me use razor blades unsupervised (home improvement razors not hair removal razors) because I almost cut my finger off once and there were so many stitches. But if I did do it alone his response would be “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t do dangerous shit…

It was incredibly stupid but college was free, so thanks McDonald's!

It was a few years after the big coffee case. I was a kid with my two brothers at a McDonald’s. The brother only a few years older said “I bet you won’t put your hand on that coffee burner” and it became a date for some stupid Pokemon card. Logic WAS on my side though. I mean, I was 8 so my logic want totally honed…