If I married my college boyfriend, let me tell you, I would be in a very, very, very different place right now. Shockingly, I focused on school and my career during my 20s and somehow found a husband who would marry my withered uterus at the vile age of 29, after I've established a career that has afforded us many…

I told him—"If there's a color your missing, just ask a parent!" :-p

I am disappoint you didn't interview me for this. As a child my parents would occasionally let me this Cookie Monster cookie/blue frosting monstrosity. And my poop turned bright bright blue! I was super proud of this.

If I drank some Goldschlager, and then ate Fruity Pebbles, what do we think might happen? Sparkly rainbow poops?

Lupita's face is so captivating that I didn't even notice the little Lupita on her head until I read the caption.

I see your vodka and raise you a White Russian.

I realize there are children involved and I feel awful for those kids...

I know I'm odd man out so far, but I'm going with Lupita. She looks amazing and that dress is made for movement - the way it works with her when she moves is mesmerizing.

I like this a lot! I have almost no shame!

If you love something, set it free!!

I feel bad for this boner. It's so trapped.

I like 'em. Does that make me a bad feminist?

"We are broken-hearted and we anticipate that we will continue to live in pain"

Every member of the Russian hockey team, on the hand, was gifted with a beautiful horse head, carefully tucked in next to them while they were sleeping, with a warm bath of fresh blood enveloping both—except for Alex Ovechkin, who simply received an ornate sword with no note.

The constipation one was really interesting to me. The human body: it is fascinating!

I guess this brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "dick cheese," huh?

... I'll show myself out.

I'm only a little lighter than her and when I was little, I hated wearing colors. I didn't want the attention. Kids teased me for being dark and I would try to hide behind my hair and in drab colors like grey and black. My mother had to convince me to wear bright colors because she knew they would look so much better…

Srsly tho. Who wore it better?

A Fox News host is angry about things being taken out of context and selectively edited? Colbert is going to have a field day with that.