The most believable thing in this whole write up is someone fighting a raccoon for a slice of trash pizza and losing.

The colors and the fact that it's a drawing on a clear food container remind me of Teeny Little Super Guy. Anyone else remember him?

First, dear god. Well done, dude. Well done.

NEVER has this been more appropriate.

A male bisexual with two dicks? That like, at least, qualifies as a new mythical creature. We need to give him a name - like a centaur or something. Dicktaur?

I'm not a big fan of PETA but I'm a big fan of protesting Sea World.

I just want to with everybody Happy New Year and may the new year will be better then last.

Best line from this...

Yeah, but don't the parks have those handy little free bag dispensers? They are specifically for dog shit.

It's "wocka wocka wocka", you uncultured swine.

I say make new year's resolutions that will stick. For example: I had a very shitty 2012, I promised myself on last new years eve that this year would be better that I would be better. I accomplished all I wanted for this year.

That's not Kanye, that's The Stig.

Posted from my Surface. Come at me Gizmodo nerds.

Goddamn humanity.

Sometimes I think I must be the only woman alive who seriously does not give a rat's ass about any of the Kardashians.

I was thinking how many times I've made that face trying to get into a dress or a pair of jeans at a clothing store. I mean, it's 40% off and the last one in blue. Fuuuuuuck.

I don't know what it is about the ripoffs, but they look horrifying.

And if your parents give you the means to make alcohol?