Paris Hilton is one of the top 5 DJs in the world. It is good to see a made-up person excelling in a made-up profession.

That bag is so awful it makes me smile. I'm not capable of appreciating the oeuvre of George Condo, but I do appreciate rich people trolling other rich people.

King Triton looks like Jay Leno.

I got Flexi Felix anal beads. The thought was appreciated, but I'm just not sure I can stick something up my ass that looks like something I'd see at Bug's Life.

My husband bought me and our two cats matching footie Pajamas. It was a pretty hilarious christmas morning

YES! I've had a crush on him since I was a teenager. No hair, don't care!

I want Kate Middleton's entire wardrobe. And hair. And life. Except without the press. But I'll take everything else.

Back when I paid for a netflix subscription, I had a monthly ritual of cranking up Hoarders and listening to it while cleaning. I would pretend the concerned family members and mental health professionals were in fact talking about my filthy apartment, thus motivating me to clean.

yummy foetus...

I will be licking the yellow brick (cheese) roads clean.

There are no cats in america... and the streets are paved with cheese!

I'm experimenting with homemade Glogg tonight. It's a fine punch that kept so many Scandinavians sane during long winter nights:

I do love her outfit, but my first thought was, "furry vulva"

YOU CALL THAT PRANCING?

Except for black teenage boys!

As an artist, I can sum up my feelings in a few gifs.

Isn't anyone else kind of rooting for him getting shot on the doorstep of the person he's delivering the painting to, because they felt threatened?

That dress. THAT DRESS.
And her makeup is ALWAYS flawless.
I love her so much