Oh god! Is he ok?! As anyone who has been around a small child while eating, I thought, "SMALLER BITES!!!"

Two bellies I want to rub.

Yes, please. I'll take this one, thank you.

George Costanza approves.

Word of caution about black fondant.

This is so sad because the original butt plug concept was so gorgeous.

Sidebar Personal Story: Tealights are miniature death traps.

I went the total other direction. I got married in June and, in an attempt to save money, didn't get an official photographer. I let friends and family know well in advance that cameras were welcome and that all I asked was for copies of any pictures they took of the two of us, the wedding party, or the general…

Way to bury the lede; the real age discrepancy here is between that lady and her hair.

Someone needs to read some Mercer Mayer.

Royal Babies — aka the progeny of a few people who are rich for absolutely no reason — are considerably more popular than just regular celebrity babies.

On seeing the Beeb's naked body so early in the morning:

lolwtf, this is coming from a guy who hasn't seen his dick in decades?

Jenny McCarthy. Expert on pharmaceuticals for infants and children. Can't figure out how to tun her iPhone keyboard the right way. #awesome #brilliant

I keep thinking I'll get to a point when hearing about the Martin murder won't make me so overwhelmingly sad and angry, but I'm not even close. I can't even imagine how his mother and father feel. I would be utterly broken if something like that happened to my child, and then for that filth Zimmerman to walk free? …

And all the white people who've never used a tanning bed due to "no need" please raise your hands. I'll start:

Score! So that means 'feminine products' of all kinds (pads, tampons, birth control ('cause we know that's the ladies' responsibility, right?), make up, dresses, etc) should be tax free because otherwise it's sexist, right?

Wait... Sydney Leathers *isn't* her porn name?

Rexkwondo looks more legit than this.

If intimacy level is inversely proportionate to the amount of times you've smelled another person's farts, then it turns out my boyfriend and I have never met.