I heard she fucked an ostrich... 

It irks me to no end that only the first two seasons are up on Hulu.

Give this man a Puppers.

Plot twist: guy trying to break into your house is a demon hunter

I hope to god that paranormal stories outweigh the creeps/psychos/stalker stuff, this year. And I’m flagging posts along the lines of “Trump is Prez”/ Kavanaugh is on the SCOTUS”. We *know*. Save it for another post.

you see me

Listen. You know it’s true. They were like #nope #hardpass

That’s super tacky. My wedding gift bag had a clean pair of underwear, sunglasses, an at-home pregnancy test, an 800 number for a crime scene cleaning service, an unregistered pistol with the serial numbers filed off, and 2 aspirin.

It is irritating to see dick jokes in the comments section of Jez. I don’t even know why it irritates me so much, but it really does. Like this isn’t Reddit, bro. Just thinking out loud - which I figured would be fair since I had to read your dick joke.

Bobby would be trying his stand-up on a cute little sister. That boy might finally be right.

Peggy Hill would start trying to speak jive about as well as she speaks spanish...

It’s easy! This man, who either is or isn’t that princess lady’s dad, either is or isn’t in these pictures, and it either is or isn’t part of a conspiracy that has been either confirmed or debunked!! It’s all right there!

Wait. What?

Yeah, I’m with you on this one. I’m just confused.

I’ve called the police three times. Only once was it possibly an emergency. Once to report a burglary (24 hours after the fact), once because a dog would not stop barking and the windchill was -30 and once because my cousin (age 3) had dialed 911 and hung up.

That being said, these white people are fregging nuts.

This is the thing. If I see someone grilling in the park where you’re not supposed to I’m jealous maybe because I know I’d get in trouble for something that silly immediately. I certainly wouldn’t think to call the police over it. That’s just wasting everyone’s time and trying to ruin a good afternoon.

Yep.

This. There needs to be a push to penalize people for wasting police time. If you call 911 and your “emergency” is two guys sitting quietly minding their own business or a family using charcoal in the wrong part of the park, you need to be charged and fined for wasting police time. The only way to stop people from…

There needs to be 2 meat runs. The brisket and ribs won't be ready until they're ready but burgers and dogs should be ready at 3.