“Sliwa added that he also believes the feeling is mutual: “I had an attraction to her, and I have felt some sexual tension when I have been in her presence,”

Christ on the cross, i’m the girl who guys go to while they are trying to get over their ex (and eventually go back to because i guess if you polish a turd enough, you can believe it’s gold? i guess that’s the thought process with some of these guys)

i developed at 5th grade. girls hated me and boys wanted to be “my friend”

In my mind, that chef is Billy Eichner as he’s the only one i could see doing that in an act.

Universal domicile of flapjacks.

YES. YES. thank you for taking a stand against cheap in-laws. i hear way too many stories of sweet kind people who are just helpless in the face of a cheap in-law or parent. there’s always a time to be nice to family, but sometimes you gotta draw the line.

ya’know what we also lost aside from the lives of the two men in the rubble and a vast amount of property? “Pomme Frites” an awesome little Belgium fry joint with so many delicious sauces.

******clap, clap, clap, clap, clap******

did you know TWD posted the recipe for Carol's cookies on their site? perfect to bake when you want to threaten a child to secrecy.

so.... did anyone get the feeling that her scene with Pete was like this cathartic moment where she was telling off Ed? saying the things she would have NEVER said to him in their entire marriage?

"Gooch"? JRSYGRL license plate? this is like something out of a Kevin Smith script.

"They're broke, but they're also, like, white upper-middle-class privileged people," says Glazer. "It's not real rags-to-riches. It's fake poor. They could always move home if they needed to."

FOREVER YOUNG... I WANT TO BE... FOREVER YOUNG....

*sniff, sniff* It's okay Buttons..... It's ok.... you won't hurt anymore.... *SOBS*

dear god, look at all this basic, boring food and that "pizza" is fucking offensive.

Nice girls made me really nervous, claustrophobic. But broken women, women in pain, women looking to be fixed—ah, for these women the doctor was in.

Can you imagine this guy's lawyer?

"Sir, i understand i'm getting paid a ridiculous amount of money to defend you. I mean, i just had a hooker and blow party and i still have so much left over. i mean, after paying top dollar for having the best reach around from this big titted chick who 'no spekee enligh' i still got…

When [Matt] Frye killed the rats and went to comb the parasites out, "they were pouring off the dead rodent,"

Wow. i would have popped him one if he ever laid his hands on me. and i would have bragged about it after his 5 star lawyers take me to jail for assaulting him. and i would never regret it.

"libertarian-leaning quotes emblazoned over them: faces like Ron Swanson"

RIGHT? I was all "woman, why you acting silly?" But she's playing the game....