He’s a leftover Soviet prototype Espionage Drone. He’s a thing because the Russians didn’t know what to do with the prototype, so they sold it to the American government. He’s famous because it’s cheaper to get paparazzi to watch him than assign federal agents.

Well, that’s parenting right there!  I have lost my shit with regularity.

I am really digging January Jones lately! A few months ago, a fellow Jezzie was talking about how great her Instagram is, and it’s true. She seems really funny and self-aware. This quote of hers from the link is hitting home hard for me today, as the mother of a demanding toddler:

I’ve never been crazy about their lip balms (never made any difference to me, and on occasion made them feel drier), but I am IN. LOVE. with Fresh’s new lip treatment tubes. They look like a gloss when you put them on, they last for HOURS, and my lips have felt sooooooo much better since using it. I even wore it…

LOL! Mine is next to a bookstore. It’s like God purposely planned it to separate me from all my money.

Great article! I really miss Millihelen.

Most skincare products are such a massive scam. The active ingredients come so late in the list, and very often, more money is spent on packaging than on what’s inside the bottle. Basically, if you can find it at Sephora or Ulta, it is sold on a scale that makes every last penny of profit margin crucial, so…

Last year I discovered Origins. I got their overnight Soak Up (?) mask and the rose exfoliating mask as samples and they are just perfect for my skin. Made myself wait until Jan 1 so those purchases would count for VIB Rouge this year. Seriously my skin is so dry that I slather on that green mask day and night. And it…

It’s time to retire and do the occasional gig for a despot.

I’m not one to normally armchair diagnose, but I’d be stunned if Trump didn’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. No, seriously, the man is a walking example of it.

And almost drop her on her ass as they try to dip her because she’s sooooo wasted.

And that is some corny ass choreography.

Oh my lard I am laughing anew, there are MEN lurking behind her feather arch, men waiting to fan her. This is bacon-flavored cheese whiz straight outta the can.

I’m pretty sure entering into a formal relationship with Mariah Carey involves an actual ceremony, surrounded by her most favorite stuffed animals and lots of glitter. And everybody wears a tiara.

The first thing in the bag of tricks when defending a guilty man is playing for time. Even if there is no direct benefit to the defense, there may still be a detriment to the prosecution somwhere in it.

Cool. Hold the trial on the moon. He’s still guilty.

No, but there are plenty of thinly populated counties in the non-metro Philadelphia parts of the state where the prevailing interpretation of Christianity isn’t all that different from Wahhabism.

Right next to Bidetistan.

Don’t worry, Angelina Jolie is NOT moving to Camodia.

I’m calling it first. Their celebrity portmanteau will be ‘Mariah’ in recognition of the distinct elements each bring to the proper relationship.