Congratulations!

Exactly! And then you feel all free and you take a big step and you’re like, “that's not really walking, it's too big. Tamp it down. Oops, now I'm shuffling. And of course, what the fuck do you do with your hands? I'm sure I used to know that, but now- two coffee cups!

take my money! Take it!

Oh, please. Cosmetics can’t be that dangerous for you if they aren’t even able to permanently damage the hair follicles on your body and I know they can’t do that because TRUST ME, I’ve been looking for a vat of whatever that toxic shit would be so that I can dunk my entire body in it.

How did you even manage to do the eyelashes? I figured hers were the result of never washing the mascara off for years- kind of lije seasoning a cast iron skillet.

So, I have a 3-y-o and a 6-mo-old, and just 2 weeks ago, I realized that it’s been about 4.5 years since I walked. I don’t mean going for walks, I mean, the situation of being able to have a gait, stride, even a style of walking or posture for more than 2 steps at a time. I’ve always been either pregnant and/or laden…

Well, now you’re bringing up a different point about the backlash, which vodka rocks agreed was too much.

This has been my favorite episode of this series so far. 2 weeks ago, I found the makeup hideous (that one woman who got “Taylor Swift” makeup that didn’t suit her at all, or actually even look like Taylor swift, just because the girl was obsessed. I felt all of those makeovers were... bad.)

Really? I defer to you two, but I definitely agreed with this woman herself about not liking the colors. The wing eyeliner looks nice, but then pool cue blue chalk on her lids? Maybe that's just my 80s flashbacks talking.

You and I are definitely related. Which also means, I'm sorry to say, that in addition to decimating the whale population off the coast of new England, our ancestors also had a huge hand in decimating the Native American populations there as well.

I am way too old to translate this post into English!

Seconded! I know I’m in the grays, but I’ve been reading this site since 07. Back then, Jezebel was hailing Michelle duggar as some paragon of pro-choice that no pro-choice feminist should dare criticize lest she be a hypocrite. At least it's not that bad anymore, but these awful people and their awful cult need to be…

I think this is a big part. I was 37 with my first, so already considered “high risk” during pregnancy, and advised to not just hop in again right away. Also, I wasn’t fertile for 19 months following the birth. Also, being older parents, we didn’t have the army of young and able extended family to help, which I notice…

Wow. You just described it perfectly. I have been "using wands to spread the contents of tubes on my face" as my complete makeup routine for so long now that even if I had more than 3 minutes to apply my makeup (which, HA!) what would I do? I have no idea how to wield the more delicate instruments or employ actual…

I'm in the club too!

You know, I like cate blanchett- I think she’s a fantastic actor and seems like a good all-around smart person. But it REALLY bugs me when these people who are overpaid and over celebrated for just pretending to be other people in stories get all high and mighty about how beneath them fashion questions are.

Okay, but that isn't people pubic hair. That's like, a yeti merkin.

Good god. It's like the mid-nineties got duped into spending way too much money on ombré highlights and see-through dresses.

the main problem here- even more than the dad-boning- is that these kids are obviously too young and have known each other too short to enter into some implied life-long contract. This relationship will not last anyway, so why make it end in a more dramatic way than it needs to? He needs to walk away because he and…

You would be me, except that I have no front to speak of.