this seems like a good post to segue into a more important question:

You're lucky you have your parents!

This is my favorite story here. It's not technically the most embarrassing, but having gone to a horrid, privileged, conservative, bigot school myself, I just really loved that you pulled off what I never would have had the self-confidence for. And Jess was out! No one would have dared been out at my school. But the…

Nooooooooo!!!! That is horrible! Knowing that everyone knows is just awful. I am still scarred by an event WAY less embarrassing than yours: in college, during exam week, students were packed in this large hallway, studying. I had to use the bathroom right there, and didn’t realize until I sat down that it was going…

I feel sick starring this, but I guess that's the point of pissing contest.

Ummmmmmm, I am almost positive that we went to middle school together in 1988 in rural Oregon and did this horrifying dance. There were four of us. I think we also had hats. I won’t ask any further questions than just to ask if this was a catholic school.

Isn’t Goop too “African” for the role, though?

You know, I think that what makes mascara good comes down to 2 main things: how new it is, and the brush. I have loved voluminous for a long time, but the new brushes are so much better. Elf, which is really cheap, has a great brush (like this one). I just wonder if you kept the benefit brush and got a cheaper…

You know, I think that what makes mascara good comes down to 2 main things: how new it is, and the brush. I have…

Aaaargh!!!!! Gifs haven't been working for me at all since kinja revamp!

Exactly. I think that living and documenting the entire experience of trying to feed one’s family like this (though it can never be totally genuine) would get her closer to actual empathy and self-awareness.

you do? I almost never comment there because no one sees it and I just think, "what's the point?"

I’m having the same issue and its so frustrating! I'm on my iPhone (5).

well, I'm not the most knowledgable either, but "the grays" are basically comment limbo. Your comment just sits around not getting published or seen on the page unless someone who is not in the grays brings your comment out. (I, for instance, am ALWAYS in the grays on Jezebel).

just come over and put makeup on me already!!

You "almost" bought it...

Seconded. Thanks, Collier!

Tightlining? I've never even heard of it!

how is it that we can pick apart a professional makeup job, yet we can't figure out the difference between highlighter and straight up grease on our own faces?

this is honestly the first thing I've ever seen that makes me even the most slightly motivated to try to contour my face (though I'm still skeptical that I'll just end up looking like my kid smeared dirt on my face).

I’m always stuck in the grays on Jez, so I’m not sure why I take the time to write out a comment that won’t be seen, but I suppose it serves the purpose of just getting it out anyway.