Cut to Marchman squeezing out eggs gently into a nest.

Get up on a Saturday morning, take a leak, go for a run, shower up, cook up some eggs, get my hate on for Jerry Jones. I’m glad Deadspin is looking out for my needs.

So we’re just going to ignore the part about mosquito circumcision and crippled cricket asses? 

My dad’s 70 something, he walks with a cane and probably needs back surgery, he sure as hell isn’t playing golf or climbing mountains. My mom’s not 70 yet and she’s had both knees replaced and has arthritis so bad some days she can’t drive.

He was born in 1947.

So long as you also advocate for getting rid of the fair catch, I’m in.

Nora is awesome and lovely and I want a polar bear but I know it would grow up and eat me because polar bears are godless killing machines but I love her anyway.

dress for the job you want, giri.

i like to think we’re all winners here

This article should be required reading for every young boy and young girl on why you should NEVER air your relationship dirty laundry on social media. There are no winners, ever.

Ha, I actually know a bunch about these two! Their relationship is covered like a daily soap opera practically by the Daily Mail. Amir Khan’s family has been out of control vicious to this woman. And she has responded in kind, but they seem way more out of line to me. And, yeah, he was completely busted recently for…

*Carmelo Anthony takes notes, commits assault in all NBA cities but Houston*

That’s probably a good thing.

Perhaps exploiting your sparring partner in a desperate attempt to show you can box is a bad and sad idea? (Especially when said sparring partner is closer to 40 than 30, and has broken packing peanuts for fists?)

after Rodney Coe threw Will Pericak into a water bucket,

Excuse me. I believe you misspelled “tittiess.”

The 49ers were really good last year though.

I live in Miami, and I can safely say that the vast majority of Cubans I’ve met despised Castro. They aren’t “ultra-right wing” or “batshit crazy”. I do know a few who have some nice things to say about him, but many, many more hated Castro, and when you hear them tell you why, it makes a lot of sense. Kaepernick…

I’m talking about the countless Cubans who fled their home country because of Castro, the large number that still can’t see their families stuck in Cuba, the countless Cubans that paraded the streets of Miami as news broke that Fidel Castro had died as the dictator that had personally affected so many lives finally…

Does the Dolphins quarterback steer US foreign policy? It would explain a lot.