Good post, old sport!

A Corolla:

or an airport luggage tug

I think sporty refers more to handling. A Bentley Continental accelerates very quickly, but I wouldn’t call it sporty.

Maybe there is a better word for it. Dynamic perhaps...

Can confirm. Just started job working with a dealership group that includes a Toyota shop. Toyota training has me now believing that they’re both exciting and sporty.

Welcome to industry buzzwords! Where everything is made up and the cars don’t matter.

I remember seeing a new Viper ACR-X at a Stop N’Shop parking lot not long ago. Big fucking wing. Couldn’t miss it. This is in an affluent area in NY. You have to drive hours to get to the nearest track or drag trip. It’s not around the corner. The person who owns it probably takes it to a track but maybe not. I’m sure…

I just tried to build a Giulia on Alfa’s configurator and their website seems to be as reliable as this car is likely to be.

-Buy Michelins. Dump goodyears and pirellis.

Also, if you can manage to get it, perhaps a more important metric like 30-60 mph would be nice to have. After all, most highway merges (at least around me) require way more grunt there than anywhere else.

Dear younger self,

I like the idea behind this new review format. But you’re still missing a piece: the benchmark. Somewhere in these reviews, it would be helpful to provide a singular statement regarding a strict comparison with the reigning benchmark in that car’s category. For your most recent review on the Alfa Giulia, you might…

The GTO is a manual and the SS is auto. Both are pretty fun. I have had the GTO longer and been to a few track days with it, so I’m leaning more towards the GTO. I have yet to go to the track in the SS.

I also drove this car and would like to add a few notes, mainly that

I agree with this. Case in point: Ducati 959 Panigale.

How about reader car reviews? I’d let y’all come drive my truck around (at least once I get done fixing some things so it’s safe to hoon)

Please don’t gloss over things like driver and passenger headroom, legroom, visibility and comfort. A fast, responsive car isn’t fun when you’re cramped, can’t see and uncomfortable.

Dear younger self, don’t ever, EVER sell Papa’s ‘66 E-Type. No matter how much a college education might seem enticing, believe me, holding on to that car will make more financial sense than anything else you ever do. Work the street corner, sell plasma, or even sell a kidney to pay for school... just please PLEASE…

The only car purchase I really regret is a 335i I bought in my thirties. I’d like to tell my teenage self to slow down and drive more reasonable, but I heard that advice plenty as a teenager and didn’t listen. I don’t think I would have listened to future me either. I knew better damn it. I had skills.