Please don’t judge people who are mind-controlled. You cannot hold them to the same standards as people who know that they have a choice. She was raised in a destructive cult. Anna has no idea she has choices; she has no idea she has a value as a human being; she has no idea that she has a right to her own opinion;…

Do you understand the kind of brainwashing that woman has been subject to for her entire life? People in Quiverfull circles actually think that divorce is worse than murder. She’s under incredible pressure from both sides of the family to “forgive” him. And since she’s probably been homeschooled her entire life until…

Right? This REALLY sounds like Ivanka. I get the sense Tiffany barely talks to her father, let alone is brave enough to call in favors.

Even greater than the Beyhive? They seem pretty scary and possibly organized.

Surprise twist: it was 30-year-old Ivanka all along. Probably.

In a study-induced procrastination haze I once devoted a full 3 hours (k, maybe more but w/e I’m not telling) to reading about 1D and its fanbase.

I’m surprised he even remembered he had a non Ivanka daughter.

The only thing surprising about this story is that he did anything at all for the non-Ivanka daughter.

That’s awesome, I need to start writing joke complaints to the FCC.

Not gonna lie, this was funny and all, but pretty much just gave me PTSD flashbacks from an abusive and gaslighting ex.

did you know lady gaga is also an anagram of “the falcons blew a 25 point lead in the super bowl”?

That’s remarkable shade (like what the Irish PM said at the White House about St. Patrick being an immigrant).

There’s a moment just when she is finished speaking, just before she turns in his direction, where for just a nanosecond you can see her eyes narrow and you know he’s having trouble sitting because of the low-heeled sensible shoe she wedged in his ass when the press wasn’t there.

Sure would explain that little grin on her face. Merkle is made of pure fucking steel, she’s not afraid of pissbabies like Drumpf.

that’s the impression I get, too!!!! I get the impression from his body language and all that she tore him a new one and he’s seething about it because how could a WOMAN talk to him like that.

Oh I bet she handed it to him in the private meetings. When the reporter asks if they discussed NATO and Trump takes a sec, and then he says “Talked about many things” you can tell he’s pissed oh I hope she said something witty and cutting and smart and it sticks in his orange craw for all eternity.

I don’t care how bad it is, I want it to be the biggest hit ever. They’re already saying it might have a historic opening and I hope it does because One Million Moms (75K actual members last time I checked) and the American Family Association and other assorted bigots have launched a boycott, and I want them…

Not to be confused with The Price of Salt, which is the name of the Patricia Highsmith novel on which the film Carol was based.

This post is satire by humor writer Alexandra Petri

This Administration is so fucking ignorant in every way. If Obama or Hillary were conducting themselves in such an uninformed and deceitful manner every Republican in America would be calling for impeachment.