At least she didn’t delete the intro commentary:

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE THE LINK. Time hath not diminished its greatness.

The Tom Cruise/Chris Martin story is here.

I remember Drunk Bitter Rightwing Lady well, and she was glorious. Hell, I’d watch that again now if I knew where to find it.

I mean, she got on a plane for Rio on the spot. Even he’s presumably not dumb enough to think there wouldn’t be hell to pay once she arrived, if it weren’t true.

This is my new favorite description of him. I bet he even shakes himself to dry off when he gets out of the pool.

His coach (who was also not there to witness anything) initially denied it too. I know Lochte’s an idiot, but geez, would it have killed people in official positions to say “wow, we don’t know anything yet, we’ll make a statement when we can”? Dumbasses.

Oh sure, but the way they did it just reinforces their well-deserved reputations as asshats.

AND ALL THE POOLS ARE BLUE.

Excellent point.

IOC denying why? Way to throw an athlete under the bus before all the facts are in.

Aaaand two minutes after your comment —

You guys, it’s not dusty in here AT ALL...

Howling with laughter. I think my favorite part is the high pitch of the voices during the race, and after the truth sinks in, Mr. Very Serious Announcer puts on his Solemn Apology Deep Voice to own up to the fail.

So, now he’s beaten a 2,168-year-old Olympic record? WOW.

For extra-delicious sangria, skip the generic sode and add Cheerwine instead.

O they’re chatty all right, but none of them seem to be Cathys.

“No actually, what I said was, he was a tool in six different ways.”

Yep. I was just scrolling down to type “Male Lives Matter.”

the result of Jared Leto wanting to make a music video about how badass the Joker is