I can’t think of a mainline church that DOES consider it a sin. They discourage it generally, but will sometimes help with it if it seems needed — for example, with domestic violence cases. Even the Catholic Church doesn’t consider it a sin to divorce, acknowledging that sometimes it’s necessary. They only consider it…

Absolutely no one should be surprised that they are in Slytherin House.

This. All the THIS. My mom nagged me for years that “you’re never going to get a man if you don’t ______” in spite of the fact that her own highly traditional marriage blew up in her face with nuclear force. The last time was “you’re never going to get a man if you insist on keeping your own name” and I snapped and…

A goose will straight up murder you just to watch you die.

It’s become a tradition to spend the last day in office pardoning convicted allies and donors. I’d like to see him put a new spin on exits by taking cannabis off the schedule on his way out the door.

-10 for give me fuckin’ job a a staff writer!!

You could always ask for it pan-seared/pan-fried. No grill marks and it’ll taste the same inside.

You have my condolences.

... OF ALL TIME.

I have a theory that everyone feels that way, and you’re just the one who first burst the secret wide open. The world thanks you.

Thaaat’s painful. Could have been worse, though — could have been Fox.

Wait, what? I was brought up to believe that a wedding gift was never required, but a bride must give a gift to each bridesmaid. I’ve literally never been to a wedding where this didn’t happen. Normally, it’s the same thing for everybody — maybe jewelry that goes with the bridesmaid dress, or some such — but, still. A…

When I meet a Planned Parenthood employee I say “thank you for your service” the same way I would to a military person.

The people who think that are the same people who believe that birth control pills are abortion devices.

I want to live on Colbert Island.

Well, I’m not LGBT or an ethnic minority...

Thanks. Doesn’t look like I fit what they’re looking for, but I much appreciate the reply.

Really? What kind of children’s books? What sort of thing are they begging for?

Same! I rewatched the Paul Ryan debate just for the fun of it.