Bonus points if you can deliver it completely deadpan so they don’t know if it’s a joke. Just throw it out distractedly while you fumble for your card.

According to the state media, Song had difficulty communicating as he hadn’t used language for a long time.

Like maybe they’d be the son of a famous admiral. A decorated fighter pilot who served in combat and become a heroic prisoner of war. That sort of thing.

I believe the deeper problem with Trump is that he’s completely abandoned the public pretense of pretending to believe in respectable things. It took decades of people bitching about “political correctness” before they stopped saying fag and nigger and “she shouldn’t have been wearing that”. We were approaching a time…

Did she also suggest tying an onion to your belt? Maybe you should have your humors balanced since too much bile might make you slower.

Look, if you want to come to Columbia and be bad at something at least pretend to take it seriously....like our basketball team does.

It’s also telling that the memo starts out with, “I believe this memo is unclassified and if someone says it is classified they better explain why”. The author was clearly concerned that this would be withheld and buried.

Clearly she and the groom were lovers. Now he’s forsaken her and pledged to be faithful to another. She went to the wedding hoping that he would stop the ceremony, proclaim his love for her, and resume the wedding with her as the bride. When that didn’t happen, her heart broke, and she used the wasabi as an excuse.

Men, our great leader has been defeated, there’s only one thing to do. STORM THE WILDLIFE REFUGE AND HIDE UNDER A TARP UNTIL WE BUMBLE INTO A TRAP AND GET SOMEONE KILLED AND THEN SURRENDER!

*lost by 5 million votes

That picture is amazing. It looks exactly like a drunk fan outside the stadium after a game. Shouting things at someone as the the wife drags him away and crowd of onlookers gawking at the tragi-comic scene. May it be infinitely meme’d.

It’s usually the adult that has to explain to the child, “If those kids can do it why can’t I?” is a terrible argument.

God I can’t wait for my kids to get into junior high so I can roll up to the school in this. “You kids need a ride to school?” “NO!”

To put a finer point on Valsidalv’s question; it seems funny to say, “Tesla should spend a bunch of money maintaining a presence at the Ring, do a bunch of development work there, and hire drivers with hundreds of laps on the track to do this right. But god forbid they change the tires. That’s not THE RING WAY”. 

If you’ve got a bunch of tobacco executives nodding along in agreement you’re probably on the wrong track here.

Hold up........just got a doctors note that America has bone spurs so there won’t be a war after all.

I’m usually of the opinion that traction control, locking diffs etc. should be a good substitute for articulation in almost all circumstances. But seeing that shot of the Defender about to crest the hill made me realize how far that front right corner is going to fall before the suspension has a chance to catch it.…

So we’re all gonna ignore the bike with the chain on the left side?

Maybe flip over and see if there’s any action on USA’s Up All Night.....oh shit Gilbert Godfrey is hosting.....nevermind.

I don’t think people are “giving him a pass” so much as acknowledging that he’s a tech guy who has come in and been surprisingly successful in businesses that are notorious for being difficult.