Well that’s just great. My plan to harass you and your family was temporarily stymied when I couldn’t find any listings for “ P. Croissant” in the phone book. But now I know it’s an alias! I’m on to you buddy!

Frolicking my ass. There’s no context, but my money is on someone overestimating their skill and ending up on that hill on accident and everything after that is a panicked attempt to save their car and reputation.

And the V70R that you lust after is the Swedish tribal tattoo.

Aside from all the explicit awfulness, it’s been eye opening to see what an incestuous club the 1% really is. What a coincidence that this CEO, those two judges, this politician, and this banker all went to school together and have been close friends since. We can stop pretending America is a meritocracy.

The same people that have a letter on stand-by noting that they aren’t a rapist and signed by a bunch of people from their past.  That’s just standard life-hacker good sense.

While I agree with your sentiment I have to admit that you lose me at step 3. I’ve taken the “I’ll just keep losing and not care” approach.  Besides, anybody who relies on the official Scrabble dictionary to win is probably well-known as a douche an nobody will be impressed even if they do win. 

How’d the space gun work?

I’m beginning to think that Beer of the Week is only here so people can mention that they were in the Czech Republic.  When I was backpacking around India we always made fun of people that casually dropped their travel exploits into conversations.

“Hey Jared, nice sweatshirt. Does it come in your size?” Boom!

I hope this works out.  I spend hours every day worrying about the quality of life of NFL Hall-of-Famers.  

I was ready to bust that out to pretend to be a real baseball knower. “The Cubs? Oh yeah they’re in their curriculum stretch right now.” 

“How high do you think we should make the doorknobs?”

I’m not sure about your theory. I think Melania would take a bullet for Barron but just being around Trump has so polluted the idea of “maleness” for her that she is deeply and forever frigid to every male except Barron. On the other hand she does know what would infuriate Trump for than anything so.......

How dare you! We have gobs of statues, bronze sculptures, little tufts of sickly decorative grasses AND giant Playmobile figures guarding the door.

That jump was so amazing it’s completely overshadowed the fact that the school parking lot it ended up in is named “Assikinack”

I disliked, but didn’t hate, Cather in The Rye when forced to read it in high school. For some reason I gave it another shot in my early 40s and really enjoyed it. To Nick’s point I guess, some books work better at different points in your life. Maybe give it another go sometime. I might even try Madame Bovary again. I…

I’m amazed that player handed over his bat.  If my manager was having a big meltdown and told me, “give me your bat” I’m not sure I would do that. I’d be worried about being an accessory to murder.

Yeah, get with the program, Apple needs it’s next trillion dollars

Cliches aside I guess we don’t have to ask Drew what his most over-used phrase is, you know what I mean?

I cringe every preseason when they show clips from training camp of a fat white “owner” riding around in a golf cart looking at all the black folks working their asses off to make him even more money. It’s not very often that reality is laid so bare.