I accidentally walked out of Fred Meyer with a security tag still attached to the new purse I'd bought. The alarm only went off when I came back into the store to ask an employee to remove it. This happens to me with fairly depressing frequency; I don't discover a tag has been left on until I walk into a different…

That was my thought! Who is buying all these Furbies? How are they still a thing?

The real irony is, my mother is completely areligious. She thinks it's a complete waste of time. Yet this was still somehow a concern she had.

I have to at least wet my curls to do anything with them. Fine and fluffy and I look like Magenta if I try to comb them dry.

I don't actually wash my face either, usually. I found that most products made my skin either too dry or too oily and I'd break out all the time. So now I just rinse it off and apply some moisturizer.

I think he's calling us all sad lonely lesbians who can't get no maaaan.

I feel like the whole quote hit some sort of buzzword bingo jackpot.

I ... know that feeling. I've also sneeze so hard during that I have forced my partner right out of my ladygarden.

That's partly why I didn't tell my own mother when I got mine for like ... 4 months. I stole pads out of her bathroom until one day we were in the store and I just grabbed a package.

I feel like some of these would backfire. If my spouse texts me "I'm having an awesome day!" I'd want to know what made it so great? Did he get a raise? Did his boss hit on him? And if a guy didn't answer you'd ask him later, right?

I say it to my baby sister. Because I do miss her adorable face.

The adoption fee for a puppy at Seattle Humane is $250. We adopted a small older dog, and that fee was $275 for some reason. I was surprised at how high adoption fees are, but it included a six-week obedience course that was very good.

I actually scoured Craigslist ads for lost pets after we adopted ours. He has such lovely manners and was so easy to train we thought he must have been someone's beloved companion. Although he was 5 years old and not neutered either, so maybe not.

You know, the issue I used to have about dating men with kids (even though I was a single mother myself), was that I met so many men who'd tell me they had a kid somewhere that they never saw, and his mom was a crazy hosebeast, and seem proud of those things.

Right? Mr. Bells is 3 years younger than me so I wouldn't even have met him IF we'd gone to the same college. Which we didn't because he was a Mormon at BYU back in the day.

I so went to the wrong college then. UCSB was not the venue for a non-partying, not-surfing, dead pale girl to find people with similar interests.

Leaving all the rest of the bullshit aside, "grab a spouse at your college" is such a bizarrely narrow focus to me, and I'm not even remotely well-traveled. Not only does it leave out everyone not in one small location, but "the one" can't even be 5 years older or younger than you?

I think she's cosplaying some Guild Wars 2 armor.

This one? My best friend had it in our college apartment. We bought an extra-long cord so we could take it into our rooms.