He’s a middle-aged father. Nothing more can be done.

Barack, we need to have a chat about your jeans.

Agree. I feel like he and his family deserve a huge apology from us. We should skywrite “Please forgive us” on the day he leaves DC.

Honestly, the US didn’t deserve the Obamas. The crap we put them through was shameless, and they handled it with such poise and grace. Also, yay, National Parks!

“...but after it was discovered that the foreman at the first trial was a survivor of statutory rape, the both cases was overturned, resulting in a retrial.”

We stayed right around the corner but never made it inside!! So ashamed. Got distracted by the playground (also wasn’t sure how engaging it would be for the kid) and kept thinking “it’s right here, we’ll see it tomorrow” Can’t believe we stayed right by all those great museums and didn’t explore any of them!

Hah, my husband and I basically live like medieval peasants—never more then ten miles from home. CAPITOL HILL 4 LYFE

So hard to get a decent pic though (guilty!) with the glare.

It smells so terrible! And I always always forget it’s there when I’m running errands in the market and invariably think “I’ll run down Post Alley to cut over to the Wester Ave stairs” and then boom, dank old minty smell.

I got an Everlane white v neck tee as my first purchase from them. I figured if they could do that right, I would buy more pieces.

I got an Everlane white v neck tee as my first purchase from them. I figured if they could do that right, I would…

I find this wall f*cking GROSS. Like when people take wedding pics in their 1000 dollar gowns in front of it im like WHYYYYYYYY

I bring my 99 Saturn to Jiffy Lube. Cause... it’s a 99 Saturn and runs fine and it JUST WON’T DIE and I can’t justify a new car until it does. C’monnnnnn Jiffy Lube, fuck it up!! The upsell is the most annoying part. Seriously the cost of all the upsell crap put together is probably worth more than the car! Just…

She looks like the older witch version of her character from Pratical Magic. It reminds me of the aunts.

GTFOH with that bullshit. male egos need no encouragement from us, that’s the problem. male egos are pathologically inflated and fragile because of toxic masculinity, not because of women “encouraging” them.

I had a whole list of amazing movies that I curated to introduce my kids to film. They would rather watch random shit on Netflix and they have much more willpower than I. This is why I spent last weekend viewing some godawful Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel 4 times.

Pictured: Trump’s death bed.

Also, “I can see your tits in that swimsuit,” manages to be both banal and creepy. Like, of course you can. It’s a swimsuit.

This reminds me, has anyone else seen this glorious response to an unsolicited dick pic (sent after the guy read her totally unrelated and short restaurant review and responded to that, FFS), which has been making the rounds? He was just being nice! So she was nice back! A BARRAGE OF NICENESS!!! Schlongs censored (in…

It’s basically not, though. The musical is an extremely loose adaptation of the book. Like, virtually unrecognizable.

If you’ve read the book, the book by Gregory Maguire, you would know the book is so very different from the musical.