I had a cat who liked to pee in a vinyl beanbag chair. Always had to double-check for a puddle before you sat down ...

My stepmother just laid claim to everything I didn’t take with me to college. I moved into a furnished dorm room, but surely I only left some of my things behind because I didn’t want them anymore, right?

If I can’t get an otter, I’ll take a rhinoceros. Prone to sudden outbursts of trampling the shit out of things also sounds like me.

They’re built-in padded cups with no wires. I don’t usually like the shelf bras because they squish me too much, but this is actually pretty nice. Although I’m only 36D and I take a large, and they only go to XL. So yeah, probably only for small-to-medium boobs.

I did that “three fictional characters” thing that’s going around Facebook but I did not pick Hermione. Mostly because everyone else I know did.

I wear like ... almost no makeup ever but I NEED THIS

BABY

If it’s not an otter, it can fuck right off.

For $20, I’m gonna take the chance.

For $20, I’m gonna take the chance.

Earbuds just don’t stay IN my ears. One side or the other will constantly be popping out.

Earbuds just don’t stay IN my ears. One side or the other will constantly be popping out.

I bought those headphones on the strength of the reviews saying they don’t squish your ears. Every pair of headphones I get hurt my ears.

I bought those headphones on the strength of the reviews saying they don’t squish your ears. Every pair of…

oh my godddddddd noooooo

“The Borgias” has a lot of boobs, but there’s been some generous penis late season 2 (that’s as far as I’ve gotten). Although it’s only been the gay character’s penis so far.

*rightclickandsave*

so round. so perky. so mesmerizing.

I totally just added this app, though. My teenager is oddly resistant to downloading it. Why should I make my life easier, right?

I have totally done this now. “What should I get my sister for her birthday?” Uh, she’s your sister, you’ve known her since she was born. And I told him I was no longer booking his doctor’s appointments because he kept cancelling them when something would come up at work.

I’ve got these Liberty London dresses with built-in bras and if they ONLY had pockets they’d be the most perfect dress ever made.

YEEESSS. We have a google calendar. Everything’s on it. And still there’s “What day/time is X thing?” Me: “It’s on the calendar, it’s on the calendar, it’s on the calendar.”

(whaddya mean, “please enter some content”, Kinja?)