No, he uses all of it. Not just in the book, but he opens one of the packages and complains about “Johanssen” and the smell.

Yeah, my daughter is a total hypochondriac ... but she also has a rare digestive disorder. Trying to sort out what’s an actual problem from what she only thinks is a problem has been exhausting.

“And you know, I totally didn’t mean it that way but also lots of people agree with me.”

Yeah, sorry, it occurred to me like ... as I was falling asleep “oh wait, he meant the actress not the character.” Derp.

Because she’s Indian?

Rough. Definitely Rough.

Like, what I wish someone had told me: you already know you’re not gonna get any sleep AFTER the baby’s born, but no one told me I wouldn’t sleep for a month BEFORE because I had to pee every single hour like clockwork.

I also love his relationship with Shaw. He clearly genuinely likes her, and not in a romantic way. And she’s touched but slightly baffled by it.

Shaw is pretty much my favorite character of anything.

My husband (a former Mormon) and I keep dying with laughter over those bits. That, and that in a completely multicultural cast the Mormons are still the dorkiest-looking white people.

Seriously. I had a 30% chance of having a successful vaginal delivery. So I opted not to try at all, even though my OB said I could try labor if I wanted. It never occurred to me to ask my then-spouse’s opinion on how I should deliver the baby. Like, I’m doing all the work here, it is 100% my choice of how it gets…

Eh, I always read it more as a career change. “Okay, I did the warrior thing I always wanted to do, now I’m gonna try being a healer.”

And anyway, after you kill the supposedly-unkillable Witch King, what’s left? You’ve pretty much proven you’re the biggest badass. No one’s gonna question her warrior cred, she might as well do something else.

I liked The Mandarin too. Making it deliberately a racist caricature because that’s the part he was hired to play. They used it and acknowledged it at the same time.

I like him, but that was NOT his role. Not by a mile. Even if the movie had been good, which it wasn’t, he just was not right for that part.

I was so proud, honestly. She was in there for a long time, and I was like “wow what took so long?” She said “Oh, I asked for an STD test and they had to draw blood. I told you not to come in with me because I knew you’d faint.”

We did too, so she might have been concerned for a few minutes. But I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face!

Yeah that caught my eye too. Uh, you need to start that BEFORE you’re having sex if you’re trying not to have babies!

I totally joked that I was going to do #2 with my daughter. Big celebration with all red foods!

your vagina molds to the first penis inside it so don’t ruin it for your husband by sleeping with someone else first