No sympathy for Russia.

Croatia would’ve never been able to field a team had Russia not gotten involved in that Sarajevo imbroglio with that alliterative Scottish dance-pop band in June 1914.

Tough shits, guys!

Odds on favorite to win with your armada, but wrecked by the weather. Spain is the original England.

The only thing more England than being England immediately is tricking people into thinking you might not be England and then being England

Get hit in the brain, morans.

He would have seen it coming if he was looking The Right Way.

And, thus, England will complete the cycle of being England. 

Group of Dearth

Undefeated in this tournament!

Coached by Bruce Arena

United States

“A disaster here in Russia for Germany!”

Wait... so, when Mexico sends it people... they are bringing their best now? I’m so confused.

That’s true of a lot of dipshits on the far right.

“Actually, the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

When I was knocked out performing the world’s most embarrassing slide into home plate as a kid, I opened my eyes to find my dad was hovering over me laughing his ass off.

“Hmmm. Misusing ICE is the only way I can get a boner.”

We’re all voting for him in the All Star Game, right? It’s not just me?

Are any of us?

[casts stone, sees it not going far enough, runs underneath to catch it, casts again]

this was the Studio 54 principle at play

I usually have to go to White Castle for my horse beef.