This is cool and all but the Jets have played like 17 seasons in the NFL without fielding a quarterback so

I always knew Irsay had a screw loose, I just never dreamed it would hurt somebody.

“No, that’s OK...I’ll hand-deliver these painkillers to ‘em. Least I can do.”

“FUCK!” - Jimmy Garoppolo

Yeah, it’s 510-300-xxx, but I’m guessing it won’t work because I am in the hills in a place with very bad service, but please feel free to try!

Pheidippides nutz.

Yes:

JJ Watt is slowly creeping up my most disliked NFL players list. And let me tell you, when I dislike you more than T. Suggs, there’s a problem.

“Send J.J. back in time, I guarantee you he kills Hitler first. Not like that degenerate Brady who would probably sabotage Eli Manning’s Super Bowl footballs.”

DALLAS RULES EVERYONE ELSE SUXXXXXXXXX

i know several women in confederate states who also would pick cousins over a black man

Rovell: Maybe it turns out racism isn’t even racist. Maybe it turns out the invisible hand is black.

It’s amusing the lengths you go to avoid using one word, simply because some joyless schmucks have deemed it politically incorrect.

If only there was some way to block for Rivers, dam.

Have you entertained the possibility that you are just getting old and don't understand these kids nowadays?

I listen to sports talk radio here, in Cleveland, because I hate myself and my brain deserves to be punished. Anyhow, paying attention to the sports media in this city is like being drunk on bad rum while standing on the deck of an old wooden boat in a storm. The equilibrium swings so wildly from side to side, from…

If only Martin understood the first rule of nicknames: Repeatedly calling attention to the nickname you hate will only make people want to use it more.

“Seriously, you guys,” Kelly pleaded obnoxiously, without a hint of his own inherent privilege. “All hits matter.”