Sometimes they need help getting on the pitch

If only he had thrown himself to the wolves instead. Then they wouldn't have caught him.

It’s weird those wolves went away once RGIII left the game. It’s almost like the other Washington QBs know how to quickly release the ball and move around/out of the pocket. Or perhaps they carry wolf-repellent with them.

In my lifetime the three saddest examples of a QB being ruined because of an offensive line were Tim Couch, David Carr and Robert Griffin III.

“Ok Ok we see it. Christ - just put it down kid!”
-Ace Of Base

Such reverence for The Game.

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

They say that Deez Nuts is an Independent, but in my experience he has always leaned more to the left.

Sometimes I love America, and sometimes I REALLY love America.

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

He lost the earring in the fight after failing to take two steps and make a football move with it

Well, it may be a loss for the Panthers and Cam, but everyone knows it means absolute zero to Kelvin.

but there’s a couple of real solid cheap shots in there.

That this man is the only thing standing between Brady and six rings might be proof there is a higher power.

Eli discovered that the next tier of his cable package has channel that only shows cartoons

As a Giants fan, I’m conflicted. On the one hand, he’s been remarkably consistent. On the other hand, his consistency means he’s likely to get the deal but somehow return the signed contract to the wrong team.

Pudding cups aren't cheap. A man needs to eat.

“But Harbaugh”, asked reporters, “what of illegals on our shores?”
“12 to 15 million, all working class or poor,
What shall we tell the teeming masses yearning at our door?”
Quoth the Ravens, “never more.”

But that’s not what happened at all.