So much fast food and not enough coronaries.

No love for the Jack In The Box grease taco? Nothing is more fulfilling than a grease taco after a night of snorting lines. It’s like the final stare into the abyss as you jump off the cliff, for a moment you’re frozen in eternity—-immortal. Then it hits your stomach and the purge of all the night’s toxins begins.…

Nachos, obviously. It’s the Mexican French fry, that’s, uh, Mexican.

This is the only correct alternative. Anyone who answered otherwise is living a lie that will one day implode on itself and they’ll wake up alone, covered in sweat, staring at death in the mirror. 

This is the only correct alternative. Anyone who answered otherwise is living a lie that will one day implode on itself and they’ll wake up alone, covered in sweat, staring at death in the mirror. 

This may be the last straw, America. 

What if they *hurk* talked about Trump’s cock ring instead (which is the same size)?

Tom Selleck!

Not with the Red Winter coming.

Nothing happens. https://www.npr.org/2018/04/19/603629576/skipping-the-2020-census-citizenship-question-youll-still-be-counted

The lesson is: never vote.

He looks like Shemar Moore going undercover in an episode of S.W.A.T.

I would say he’s trying too hard, but he’s got nothing else going for him, so bless his heart. 

Bernie = slightly-melted Raisinets.

That’s a lot of pesos to break bread with a man who is all hat and no cattle.

Impeachment won’t work due to reality of the math, but investigating him to death would have the same effect. The motherfucker hates to have his dirty laundry aired. It might even cause him to stroke out. Let’s not lose track of the real goal here. 

Eventually they will own all our water supplies and your options will be Coke, Pepsi or untreated sewage (RC Cola).

tl;dr:

Careful, you might anger Stephen Moore.

Wow, that video is amazing. I’ve seen laser tag players more disciplined than that scary-assed cop.