Got closer than Dwyane himself does.

I’ma have to go back then... I don’t think I’ve revisited those records in years. And lord knows I’d love to join the Nas truth train.

Nas released one of the bar-none, greatest rap records of all time in 1994 with Illmatic. His output since then never really lived up, and now you mostly see him on Hennessey commercials, but for a while “Jay-Z or Nas?” was a conversation.

Oh my god, for a moment there I read the headline as “James Woods and Chance the Rapper” and my chest seized.

Burneko is a Wizards fan, and Deadspin made fun of the Knicks for claiming to be a “superteam.” But sure, okay.

I’m not so certain the Cavs should be big underdogs in the Finals. In 2015, the Cavs were up 2-1 on the Warriors with LeBron and a bag of broken spare parts and lost when LeBron turned out to be a human being capable of getting tired. And last year the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead (lots of people forget that, so it’s good…

This is why you trust the process.

“This is why you trust the process. Because otherwise enjoying basketball requires a sense of perspective.”

Baby steps, my friend—we have to work our way back up. So we go from Trump, to Johnson, who at least has a grasp on common decency, and up the line until we have an actual, qualified president in 2053.

I just can’t wrap my head around the notion that “fool’s gold” is a 50-win team that clinched the one seed and just got the number one pick in the draft, and “REAL gold” is having a bunch of young guys who haven’t actually done anything yet. Are the Sixers going to use their pick this year to try to draft LeBron James…

Really. Can you imagine applying The Process mentality to any other aspect of life?

What we all really have to worry about is someone becoming Sam Neill in Possession.

The world is just one big sick joke. Laughter is the only response. I’m Sam Neill at the end of In the Mouth of Madness at this point. I’m not even angry, I just want to join George Carlin on a deck chair and enjoy my front row seat to the freakshow.

Checks out.

So, in addition to being terribly selfish themselves, they want to punish people who aren’t.

Yeah, me too. I had a nice chuckle: “Worst possible shit, and it’s a photo of Stephen A., haha, funny.” Then I pressed play and the world burst into fire around me.

I love this about him. People expounding on what they think the things in his films “means” is always the most insufferable and useless thing, so I generally stick to watching and enjoying them alone.

Oh, damn, you’re right — I think my brain just shunted all the crappy stuff to the last season for convenience’s sake.

They start ‘em early in the ‘burgh, because that’s the only way anyone can put up with living there.

The rule of rock star deaths is that the cool ones die early, so Eddie Vedder should live a full and happy life.